Blood Red Road

aim. Epona smiles. She nods.
    She starts to run towards me. She throws her arms wide open an lifts her face up. She leaps offa the roof. She soars through the air. Fer one last moment, she’s free.
    That’s when I shoot her.

    Th’others is gone on ahead with Lugh. Ash waits fer me.
    The clouds clear the moon. I see the tear tracks down her face.
    Hawks take care of each other, she says. No matter what that means. It should of bin me did it, not you. But I … I’m sorry, Saba. I’m sorry.
    She was here because of me, I says. I had to be the one. It’s right that it was me.

    The clouds lift. The wind dies down. It’s a beautiful, clear midsummer night.
    We ride north at a good pace. Head fer the meetin point where we sent Tommo an Emmi to wait fer us with Hermes. We move downhill, outta the mountains the whole time. As we drop down, the ground changes. It’s drier, rockier. The trees is smaller now. Scrubby pine, juniper an some cottonwood.
    It didn’t take long fer me an Ash to catch up with Jack an Ike. Then Jack an me traded horses so’s I can ride with Lugh.
    He ain’t woke up yet. He slumps back heavily aginst my chest. I feel his breath go in an out. My arms ache from holdin him upright.
    Lugh’s here. I got him. He’s safe. I cain’t quite believe it. I dreamed of this so many times. Lived fer this moment, only this moment, fer so long. With a cold emptiness inside of me. A Lugh-shaped space that cain’t be filled by nobody else. An now he’s here, back with me, everythin should be okay agin.
    But it ain’t.
    My whole body’s numb.
    Epona. Fer the rest of my life, every time I close my eyes I’m gonna see her leapin offa that roof. I’ll hear the sound of the arrow singin outta my bow towards her heart.
    Jack falls back to ride beside me.
    Are you all right? he says.
    I says naught.
    Nobody should ever hafta do what you did, he says. I know it don’t feel like that now, but you did the right thing by her. The merciful thing.
    It ain’t right, I says. She’d be alive now if it warn’t fer me. She should never of left Darktrees. My voice comes out thick, clogged.
    Epona made her own decisions, says Jack. She wanted to come. She knew the risks. We all did. Nobody blames you.
    I’m sick of death, I says. I seen too much of it.
    We all have. He reaches out, puts his hand over mine. It’s gonna be okay, Saba.
    This ain’t finished yet, I says. They’re gonna come after us. I’m right, ain’t I?
    Most likely, he says. But me an Ike figger we got a good couple of hours’ head start. Pinch ain’t gonna go nowhere till he gits the floods in the chaal fields unner control.
    I set him on fire, I says. Accidentally.
    Nice touch, he says. Don’t s’pose you could of killed him?
    What was it Ike said? The devil ain’t so easy to kill? No. I don’t think so.
    Too bad, he says. Still, it might buy us a bit of extra time.
    I take a deep breath. Sit up straighter. Let him come, I says. I ain’t come all this way jest to let that bastard win.
    That’s the spirit, he says. That’s my girl.
    We ride on in silence.

    Saba? Lugh’s voice. Hoarse. Confused. Saba? Is that you?
    A jolt goes through my heart. Lugh, I says. It’s me. I’m here. I got you.
    Yer really here, he whispers. He takes my hand an kisses it. Tears start to my eyes.
    He’s awake! I call out. Lugh’s awake! I pull up my horse. Him an me’s ridin at the rear. Th’others wheel around an gallop back to join us. Jack swings hisself down.
    D’you think you can stand? he says to Lugh. I’ll help you.
    Who’re you? says Lugh.
    I’m Jack. A friend of Saba’s.
    I’m another one, Ash says. The name’s Ash.
    Me too, says Ike. Ike Twelvetrees.
    Lugh glances around. I never knew you had so many friends, he says to me. Thank you. Thank y’all.
    Jack helps him down. I slide to the ground.
    We’ll leave you two to say hello, he says.
    After they’ve moved away outta earshot, it’s jest me an Lugh. We look at each other. We stare at each other fer a long long moment by the bright white light of the midsummer moon.
    His face looks thinner. He looks older. Harder. My heart twists.
    My golden brother. Still so beautiful. But changed. He ain’t that Silverlake boy no more.
    Are y’all right? I says.
    A bit dizzy, he says. But … yeah, I’m … I’m good.
    Good. I … Tears start to my eyes. Roll down my cheeks. I dash ’em away. Sorry it took me so long, I says. I got … delayed.
    There’s tears on his face too.