Born 01 - Born

of the carts. Sarah looks like she might attack the lady pushing the cart.
    She lifts the lid and I see spaghetti and meatballs. Tears flow before I can stop them. Sarah is at the cart shoving one of the trays of food into her mouth like a wild animal before I can stop her. I look at the cart lady who laughs. "We all know that feeling, honey." She passes me the other tray before Sarah can eat it, too.
    I use the fork and twirl the noodles. I am dragging out the first bite. The sauce is glossy on the plump noodles. I close my eyes and let the heat and flavor fill my mouth.
    I am at my Granny's table.
    I am laughing at the show I'm watching as the noodles slop on my face and fill my mouth.
    Had I known it would be the last time I ever ate my Granny's spaghetti sauce, I would have savored every second of it.
    Here in this frightening white room, I am grateful for every bite that fills my mouth. I don’t even chew every bite. I swallow mouthfuls of noodles before I realize I'm running out. I pace myself and savor the last few bites. My stomach cramps as the food hits it.
    Sarah eyeballs the meatballs on the side of my plate. I nod. She takes them, stuffing them in her mouth one after the other. I'm certain she never chewed them at all, but swallowed like a snake.
    She burps and I laugh. The lady with the carts is laughing.
    Full and covered in red sauce, I sit back. I am sweating from the amount I've eaten.
    "Yeah, you're gonna puke. I did the same thing. It was cutlet night and I threw up everywhere."
    Sarah shakes her head and lets the cart lady wash her down. She looks less like an animal and more like a kid suddenly.
    The lady hands me a warm white cloth. I wash myself and sigh into it. I love this place. I will let them put as many babies as they want in my belly. I will give them anything they want. I never want to leave here.
    She smiles a soft smile, and I notice for the first time that she is black. She is the first black person I've seen all day.
    "I just need to put a needle in your arm. Want to get comfortable for me?"
    I lie back on the bed and cherish the grossly full feeling in my belly.
    "Do they keep the white people and black people and Asian people and native people separate?"
    She blushes. "Honey, there ain't no black people in here except us nurses and cleaners."
    I'm lost. "Is there another center?"
    Anna clears her throat. "They're only breeding the whites around here."
    I feel the disgust in my face and the nurse laughs. "That was my thinking. Now this is going to pinch a tiny bit."
    She wipes my arm and moves swiftly. I don’t even register her movements; I just notice she has a needle hanging out of my arm. Sarah is beside me and curled up in my armpit. She's hurting my side by laying on it because I'm so full.
    The needle is suddenly pulled away and a rubber hose is sticking out of my arm. She wraps it up with tape. She looks at Sarah and raises an eyebrow, "Now if I leave you a bottle of water, will you drink it or do I have to give you a needle too?"
    Sarah puts her hand out to the sweet looking nurse. She puts the huge bottle of water in her hands and chuckles. "Figured as much."
    "I would have drank a bottle of water," I say.
    She shakes her head of curly hair that I notice is shiny too. "Nope, you gotta have that needle. They need you to take meds and antibiotics."
    She squeezes my hand. "I am so sorry, honey." Her eyes glass over for a second and I know I can trust her. She lets go of me and hooks several plastic bags to the clear hoses running into my arm. Water starts dripping into the hose and as it hits my needle mark my arm gets cold there.
    "How's that feel?"
    "Cold."
    She nods. "Okay, I will check on you in a bit. Try to rest."
    She wheels the food cart out and pokes her head back in and gives Sarah a stern look. "You drink that now, you hear?"
    Sarah cracks open the plastic lid and starts drinking. The nurse chuckles again.
    Anna watches my arm. She looks distant.
    "What's the deal with only white women being bred?"
    She shrugs. "Well, you and I aren’t women, firstly. We're girls. Secondly, I don’t know. Some of the others have said they think it's like the Second World War where the racists wanted everyone dead."

Chapter Fifteen

    I sense him. It isn’t a feeling of his body next to mine but his eyes watching me. I want to reach out and touch him. I feel myself toss in the sheets and tangle myself up in Sarah and the blankets. I open my eyes and climb off the bed. I rub