Bullheaded

and whispered, “I love you.”
    Hot as molten lava, the eruption spilled over his fingers. Johnny was no longer breathing. He was heaving for air, shaking like an earthquake, straining with taut muscles.
    Cody wasn’t teasing as he reaffirmed their union with a roar of some emotion too powerful to label. Then there was nothing but the rush of blood, the feeling of pulse and heartbeat, their gasping breaths coming together, the warmth of Johnny’s body in his arms.
    “I know,” Johnny murmured.

    W HEN Johnny awoke, he thought for a moment he was back in the room with March, his silver bear. There was a table with candles, food set out, and even a bottle of wine, but the man waiting for him was different.
    Cody was sitting there naked, like March had, but instead of reading the paper, he was watching Johnny with an expression of anxious hope on his face.
    “Hi,” Johnny said, feeling suddenly shy.
    “Hi. I ordered some food. Are you hungry?”
    “I could eat.”
    “Good, because you’re going to need your strength.”
    Cody leered, but it was too late. Johnny had caught the slide from vulnerability to confidence. Where once the shift had confused him, now he found it oddly endearing, but perhaps that came along with knowing what it meant. And having the upper hand was something he thoroughly enjoyed. He would have to keep Cody on his toes from now on.
    Johnny went to the table and helped himself. “What, no lobster?”
    Cody seemed dismayed. “I never thought of it. You like lobster?”
    “It’s okay, I was just kidding.” The food wasn’t as lavish as what March had provided, but Cody had remembered what he liked. It touched Johnny.
    Cody leaned forward and delicately trailed his fingers along Johnny’s ribs. “Tell me about that tattoo.”
    “I’m Diné, Navajo,” Johnny started, as if they were just meeting. “When First Woman put the stars in the sky, Fire Man shot two crooked fire arrows into the sky and made a cloud ladder. Then he climbed the ladder to place the stars at her direction.”
    “Wow. That’s beautiful.”
    “Part of the creation story. There are four worlds and Diné are the people who live in the fourth world. Diné means ‘the people’. The stars were placed to symbolize one man and one woman, so no other stars could approach them. It was the way only one couple lived at one campfire.”
    “Only a man and woman?”
    “It used to be there were four sexes: man, woman, and then there were the two-spirit people, man-woman and woman-man. Sometimes they were visionaries or healers. They were said to be respected, they had a role in the community. People had a less rigid definition of how people should act.”
    “It must have made it easier for you.”
    Johnny shook his head. “There was a time when I would have given anything to be ‘normal’. These are old concepts. Everything changes, for us and for you whites. I grew up in the same America you did. Bible-thumpers destroyed that part of our culture. I never heard about two-spirit people until I started looking for stuff about my heritage on the Internet.” He touched the tattoo as if it were a talisman. “That’s when I got this. If there was a time when being gay was acceptable in our tribe, I didn’t learn of it from my family. I can’t speak for any other tribe, but gay men were seen as lesser, same as in the white world. This romantic notion of the two-spirit people is not my experience. It’s not easy being Diné and gay. That’s one of the reasons I fell for you. You knew fuck all about this shit and only wanted to get into my pants.”
    “I still do.”
    “Yeah, I know.” Johnny grinned. “It’s good to be able to count on something.”
    “How did you tell your parents?”
    “I’ve never told them and I never will. My mother does not want to know this and I respect her too much to force her to acknowledge it. It’s, like, a private thing. Closed off.”
    “I’m sorry. And you still support her?”
    Johnny tried to smile but could feel his mouth twisting. “I’m the middle kid but my older brother is a drunk. He can’t help her. My sister had a baby. The father doesn’t want anything to do with them. Someone’s got to help them. It’s my job.”
    “I wouldn’t give her anything unless she listened to you, accepted you and told you she—”
    “It’s my culture. Family is very important. I don’t want to shame her in her tribe’s eyes. Even if they wouldn’t think that way, she