Bullheaded

would feel like an outcast. I have a responsibility to her.”
    Cody calmed himself visibly. “I can respect that. Admire it, even. I just wish it was easier for you. What about your father?”
    “He’s a drunk. Haven’t seen him in over fifteen years.”
    “Damn, I knew I was lucky but I didn’t realize how lucky. I hit the jackpot on awesome parents.”
    “Yeah, you did,” Johnny agreed. “It’s okay. My mother is who she is. It would have been nice…. But she did her best. We visited the reservation to see my grandparents, but she brought us up in Flagstaff because she wanted us to learn how to operate in both worlds. I know she would have preferred to live on the reservation, so I thank her for that sacrifice.”
    “You ever wish she could see the real you?”
    “She loves me. She’s proud of what I do. She doesn’t think I’m getting whitewashed because I work in a white man’s sport. It’s just she can’t accept some parts of me, and that’s how it’s always going to be. I’ve got to stay in the closet so I can earn enough for all of us to live on.”
    “I didn’t know.” Cody seemed thoughtful and quiet. “How did you get started in this business?”
    Johnny smiled, thinking back to when he was a skinny, gangly boy who didn’t know what he wanted. “I always liked horses. Always liked how, in Westerns, the Indians could ride better than the cowboys, even though we always got killed in the end. We lived in a poor section on the edge of the city where it wasn’t that far to some of the ranches. I walked out to the Double A one day after school and asked for a job.
    “I lucked out by accident. The guy who owned it, Ace, had horses and cows. And bulls. He asked me if I knew anything about horses. I said no, but I wanted to learn.”
    Cody laughed. “I would have lied and bluffed my way into it.”
    “True, you totally would have.”
    “How old were you?”
    “Fourteen, but I was tall for my age. Anyway, he liked my answers and he put me to work cleaning stalls. Said he couldn’t pay much but if the low wages didn’t cure me of loving horses, he’d see about me riding.”
    “And the rest was history.” Cody clapped a hand over his mouth and looked so guilty that Johnny’s glare turned to a grin. “Sorry. Go on.”
    “Didn’t care if I had to clean stalls to be near horses. He would let me turn them out of the stalls into the corral so I got to touch them. I have a feeling for animals. They took to me like I did to them. Even his dog, Duke, would wait for me at the end of the driveway every day and follow me around while I worked. Ace used to pretend he was jealous, but he liked that I could read animals. So he taught me to ride. Both Western and English. Said it would make me a well-rounded rider. It didn’t matter what he paid, he was giving me a chance to do something I loved.”
    “You do have a way with animals. Missed you at the ranch this summer,” Cody mumbled.
    “He had these Mexican cowboys working for him and they would sometimes rope a steer and ride it for fun. One day Ace told me to get on and try it and I did.”
    “And you stayed on for the full eight?”
    “Not even. Bucked off in three. But the Mexican hands and Ace were impressed I hung on even that long. Told me to keep practicing.”
    “And you weren’t scared at all.” Cody sounded proud.
    Johnny grinned. “Hate to burst your bubble, but I was terrified. Those steers were huge! But I couldn’t let them see it. Those Mexicans, they were as good as any of the Brazilians riding today. Like they were born astride a bull.”
    “It was a macho thing.”
    “Absolutely. What man is gonna let another man face him down over anything? We’d rather get our necks broke than let on to being scared.”
    “I’d like to think I was smarter but I have to admit there’s some truth in it.”
    “One day, when I went out to the ranch, Ace told me to hop in the truck. There was something he wanted me to see. It surprised me when he turned around and drove back toward the city. For a minute I thought I’d done something wrong and he was taking me home, but instead he drove to the fairgrounds. Turns out the rodeo had come to town. He wanted me to see the bull riding. And I was hooked. So far riding was just a friendly competition thing with the Mexicans, but then I saw you could actually earn money doing this.”
    “More these days than back then.” Cody nodded.
    “Ace helped me out. He found a few