Bullheaded

because he was mad, not knowing what it meant but knowing it was a bad word and saying it would get a reaction. Then she had laughed in spite of trying to keep a straight face, but she wasn’t laughing now. She looked almost sorry for him, but he pushed the thought away. He was not the one who needed her pity.
    “You’re a grown man, Cody.”
    It didn’t help he could tell she was disappointed. He only hoped it was with Johnny, not with him.
    “Look, it’s over. I’m moving on. When he does come crawling back, begging me to take him back, I’ll just laugh.”
    “Don’t look back,” she said in a neutral voice.
    “Yeah, never look back. Pillars of salt have crappy sex lives.”
    Reaching for his hat, he slapped it on and went out to join RJ and Travis in the ring. It turned out to be a bad plan. One after the other, the two-year-old bulls were brought out for him to train, but it seemed as if he was the one who needed schooling. He was riding as if he’d never won a buckle. Hell, he was riding as if he’d never been on top of a horse before, let alone a bull.
    Cody gritted his teeth as he pushed himself up off the ground again and dusted his jeans off.
    “That’s some buckoff streak you got going there, boss,” Travis commented. “Five straight falls. Maybe it’s time for a break.”
    “No. Put him back in the chute,” Cody ordered grimly.
    “I’ll get another bull out here for you if you really want, but you’re not riding this one again. You’re not training him, you’re beating your own self up. If you want to run your head into a stone wall, be my guest, but you don’t take it out on the stock.”
    Glaring at Travis, Cody nonetheless felt ashamed of himself. He never overworked his stock, but today he was being a total dick. Shame led to anger, and he felt like taking a swing and smashing Travis’s face in even though it wasn’t his fault.
    If Johnny had been there, he might have swung at him, and then they could have wrestled and maybe had some hot makeup sex. The thought of never making love to Johnny again sent a stab of pain through him, the very pain he was trying to ride out. He turned away from his men so he wouldn’t have to face them.
    “Never mind. That’s enough for today.”
    “More than enough,” RJ snapped.
    Cody couldn’t blame him for saying it, even though he did. Furiously, he turned on RJ. “Why didn’t you tell me he was leaving?”
    “Johnny never said anything and it’s none of my business.”
    “You could have stopped him. You took him to the station, you could have made him—”
    “Johnny’s a grown man, Cody. I’m not his mum. It’s not my place to tell him what to do.”
    “I suppose you think it’s not mine either!”
    “Cody, there are always two sides. You only ever think about what you want and assume everyone’ll go along,” Travis horned in.
    Cody glared at him. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when Travis hadn’t been part of it, but that didn’t give him the right to criticize. “I’m doing this for him! I don’t want to retire, but I’m going to have to eventually. Johnny can’t keep going on the circuit without me. He needs someone to take care of him.”
    “Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about it. You ever ask him?”
    “He’s just a bullfighter, he doesn’t make the kind of money he could if he were riding.”
    “Well, there’s your problem,” Travis drawled. “You ever ask him his opinion about any of this?”
    “We talked,” Cody said defensively. “I told him he should ride again. He’s good.”
    “More like you talked and he listened,” RJ said.
    “You don’t know what went on between us!” Cody shouted. “You don’t know me!”
    Travis promptly opened his mouth to retort, but RJ put a hand on his arm to forestall him. “You’re right, we don’t know. But something went wrong and neither of you ended up with what you want.”
    “Shut up! You don’t know what I want!”
    In a rage, Cody stomped back to the silent bungalow that was so empty with all Johnny’s stuff gone. And it was okay. He’d lived alone before and he could get used to it again.
    As he searched through one of his messy drawers, Cody’s hand hit something flat and hard down at the bottom. He pulled out a framed photo hidden there because he was too embarrassed to have it out on display.
    He’d taken it with his phone one day when they were riding. Johnny’s long hair was flowing around his shoulders as he rode