Bullheaded

bare to the waist, his shirt stuffed into a back pocket and flying out behind him like a flag; the bulge at his groin was nicely framed by his chaps. He was leaning back, one hand on the reins, the other on the rump of the horse, his body twisted as he looked back at someone out of frame, laughing. It was probably Travis; he could usually get Johnny going.
    The thought of someone else touching the smooth skin of the man he’d thought of as his for the past two years made Cody sad and angry at the same time. He knew someone would take Johnny somewhere. Maybe even tonight. Maybe right now Johnny was smiling up at someone else making love to him.
    It was enough to drive a man mad. Cody jumped into the shower and cleaned up.
    There was no way he could sit down for supper with his parents and RJ and Travis and act as though nothing was wrong. All of them being careful of his feelings and pussyfooting around, trying not to ask questions, but curious to know what had happened to drive Johnny away.
    It was Cody’s fault and he knew it was, and he knew they thought he was to blame. The only thing for it was to get drunk or to get laid. Or maybe both. He would go down to his old stomping grounds and get his cock sucked. His big cock.
    One of the things he had planned to do this summer was take Johnny down to the beach. After their conversation on the mountain, Cody had wanted to show it to him and show off for him on his surfboard, even though he hadn’t ridden one in years.
    It was too late to surf today. The sun was going down, but there was still the restroom at the beach. Back in high school, it was one of his favorite cruising spots. Maybe it was time for a walk down that particular memory lane.
    In hopes that a quickie would help wipe out other memories, Cody shaved and put on a shirt. He snuck out of his house and put his truck in neutral to coast silently past his parents’ house as he used to do when he was underage and went hunting for cock. Not that his parents would or could stop him now. He just wanted to keep it private.
    The slight grade downhill to the main road kept him rolling until he had to make the turn, but by then he was out of earshot and popped the clutch. He drove down to the beach, recognizing the salty tang in the air as he got closer.
    The red line of the setting sun burned along the horizon when he arrived, making the dark-blue sky look like a fire from reflecting up onto the clouds. Cody made a beeline for the restroom. There were no vehicles parked in the lot, but a man could get there on foot or by bicycle. He couldn’t remember ever going into that restroom and not having someone follow him in before too long.
    Today was it was different, though. The place was empty. Graffiti, phone numbers, and suggestive comments had been painted over. Even the glory hole had been filled in, although Cody could see signs that someone was working on restoring it to its former glory. After fifteen long, lonely minutes, he wandered outside and found a picnic table and sat on the top with his bootheels hooked over the bench.
    The fire on the ocean was gone now and the sky was darker. The moon had risen in the east and was casting a weak, shimmery light on the waves. He put his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands and sat there waiting.
    The bad part about being alone was Johnny kept barging into his brain without being invited. Cody didn’t want to think about Johnny. The ingratitude, the misunderstanding, the taking for granted. In fact, he wondered if Johnny had been using him this whole time.
    He wanted to believe that when Johnny said he loved him, he’d really meant it. Maybe he had, but changed his mind. People fell out of love, didn’t they? Cody’s own parents were a bad example, but he’d had friends whose parents divorced. He just never thought it would happen to him. Of course, he never thought he’d fall in love either. In all his sexual exploration and conquest, he’d felt warm appreciation toward a few of his partners, but it wasn’t ’til he met Johnny—
    “Good evening, sir. May I ask what you’re doing here?”
    Startled, Cody turned to see a police officer standing a safe distance away, his hands hovering at his sides in case he needed to grab his weapon or his Taser. He’d been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t even heard the cop drive up.
    “I’m—I’m just sitting here,” Cody answered.
    “Truck running okay? You don’t need a tow, do you?”
    Cody relaxed as