Carpathian 16 - Dark Demon

deliberately embraced everything they had fought against all of their lives. Vikirnoff could see her struggle to fight off the weight of guilt and fear and even repugnance. She didn't want to fear her brother. She didn't want to loathe and despise him. She didn't want to feel revulsion for what he had become.
    Reluctantly, Virkirnoff released Natalya when she pushed away from him. His heart ached as he watched her swim restlessly back and forth across the small pool. He couldn't lie or soften the truth. He respected her too much for that. When they hunted for the book, they would be pursued. And they had to hunt for the book. He knew it, and somewhere, deep inside, so did Natalya. The book would surface sooner or later, maybe even in another century when memories had dulled. It was far too dangerous to leave to chance.
    Vikirnoff rubbed his hand over his face, his stomach lurching at the idea of what was to come. Natalya was an exceptional woman, but one he had never expected, one he'd thought he would never want. Yet why had he envisioned a docile, amenable woman as his lifemate? Natalya was a woman to walk beside him. He could not imagine his life without the sharp edge of her tongue, or her peculiar sense of humor.
    His brows drew together as he watched her swim back and forth. The beads of moisture on her face were not from the spring water and that was painful. Does that television set in your room at the inn actually work ? He used their more intimate path of communication deliberately, wanting her to feel him inside of her.

    She halted abruptly, throwing back her hair so that water went in every direction.
    Blinking rapidly to clear her vision, she nodded. "Why?"
    "Half of what you say makes no sense to me. If we are to communicate adequately, I have to watch your late night movies."
    She sent up a spout of water straight at his face. "Don't sound like you're going to a funeral. Late night movies are fun. Fun . Do you even understand the concept of having fun?"
    There it was again. That heartbreaking note of desperation, of strain, in her voice. She was gamely smiling at him, but her eyes were dark with sorrow. Vikirnoff waded over to her, his gaze locked with hers. All the teasing in the world wouldn't fix it. All the love in the world wouldn't take it away. All he could do was pull her into the shelter of his body, as close to his heart as possible. And tell her the real truth. She would see him for what he was. It was a risk he hesitated to take. Their relationship was so very fragile and he always seemed to make the wrong decision.
    He was aware of his blood moving through his body, carrying his shame. "I do not know that Razvan willingly chose to embrace evil, Natalya."
    "I don't understand what you mean. He has to be vampire. Or at least in league with the vampires. How could that not be choosing to embrace evil?"
    He heard his heart thundering in his ears, trying to drown out the sound of his voice confessing. Voicing aloud what he didn't want known. What he didn't admit to himself. He rubbed his face against hers, his fingers tangling in her wet hair.
    Natalya held her breath, sensing how vulnerable Vikirnoff was at that moment, sensing the cost to his pride. "Tell me."
    "Before I met you. Long before I met you, I hunted the vampire everywhere I went. I was good at it, Natalya, because life no longer mattered to me. Not my life and not that of any other. I realized I was becoming the very thing I hunted so I sought my brother, hoping his close proximity would alleviate the growing darkness."
    Natalya pressed closer, circling his neck with her arms, wanting to give him strength as he'd done for her. "Go on, Vikirnoff." She felt his reluctance and knew he was giving her something of himself, something that cost him dearly.
    Vikirnoff drew in a tortured breath. "It helped for a few years and then the emptiness was a weight pressing heavier than ever. I backed off making the kills, allowing Nicolae to destroy the vampires after we found them. I even spent most of my time in another form."
    "All good things to keep yourself going." She caught glimpses of a stark, bleak existence in his mind, but it was nearly impossible to understand without merging with him and he was holding himself away from her.

    Vikirnoff closed his eyes. "You are not understanding what I am saying to you, Natalya.
    I am an ancient Carpathian. I am well-schooled in what happens to our males should they continue to live and hunt and