Carpe Jugulum

something holding it open. She glared at the stone as if it was something dangerous, and then edged around it and into the gloom of the cottage.
    She came out a few minutes later, looking worried.
    Her next move was toward the water butt. She broke the film of ice with her hand and pulled out a piece, looked at it for a moment, and then tossed it away.
    People often got the wrong idea about Nanny Ogg, and she took care to see that they did. One thing they often got wrong was the idea that she never thought further than the bottom of the glass.
    Up in a nearby tree, a magpie chattered at her. She threw a stone at it.
    Agnes arrived half an hour later. She preferred to go on foot whenever possible. She suspected that she overhung too much.
    Nanny Ogg was sitting on a chair just inside the door, smoking her pipe. She took it out of her mouth and nodded.
    “She’s gorn,” she said.
    “Gone? Just when we need her?” said Agnes. “What do you mean?”
    “She ain’t here,” Nanny expanded.
    “Perhaps she’s just out?” said Agnes.
    “Gorn,” said Nanny. “These past two hours, if I’m any judge.”
    “How do you know that?”
    Once—probably even yesterday—Nanny would have alluded vaguely to magical powers. It was a measure of her concern that, today, she got right to the jelly.
    “First thing she does in the mornings, rain or shine, is wash her face in the water butt,” she said. “Someone broke the ice two hours ago. You can see where it’s frozed over again.”
    “Oh, is that all?” said Agnes. “Well…perhaps she’s got business—”
    “You come and see,” said Nanny, standing up.
    The kitchen was spotless. Every flat surface had been scrubbed. The fireplace had been swept and a new fire laid.
    Most of the cottage’s smaller contents had been laid out on the table. There were three cups, three plates, three knives, a cleaver, three forks, three spoons, two ladles, a pair of scissors and three candlesticks. A wooden box was packed with needles and thread and pins…
    If it was possible for anything to be polished, it had been. Someone had even managed to buff up a shine on the old pewter candlesticks.
    Agnes felt the little knot of tension grow inside her. Witches didn’t own much. The cottage owned things. They were not yours to take away.
    This looked like an inventory.
    Behind her, Nanny Ogg was opening and shutting drawers in the ancient dresser.
    “She’s left it all neat,” Nanny said. “She’s even chipped all the rust off the kettle. The larder’s all bare except for some hobnailed cheese and suicide biscuits. It’s the same in the bedroom. Her ‘I ATE’NT DEAD’ card is hanging behind the door. And the guzunda’s so clean you could eat your tea out of it, if the fancy took you that way. And she’s taken the box out of the dresser.”
    “What box?”
    “Oh, she keeps stuff in it,” said Nanny. “Memororabililia.”
    “Mem—?”
    “You know…keepsakes and whatnot. Stuff that’s hers—”
    “What’s this?” said Agnes, holding up a green glass ball.
    “Oh, Magrat passed that on to her,” said Nanny, lifting up a corner of the rug and peering under it. “It’s a float our Wayne brought back from the seaside once. It’s a buoy for the fishing nets.”
    “I didn’t know buoys had glass balls,” said Agnes.
    She groaned inwardly, and felt the blush unfold. But Nanny hadn’t noticed. It was then she realized how really serious this was. Nanny would normally leap on such a gift like a cat on a feather. Nanny could find an innuendo in “Good morning.” She could certainly find one in “innuendo.” And “buoys with glass balls” should have lasted her all week. She’d be accosting total strangers and saying, “You’ll never guess what Agnes Nitt said…”
    She ventured “I said —”
    “Dunno much about fishing, really,” said Nanny. She straightened up, biting her thumbnail thoughtfully. “Something’s wrong with all this,” she said. “The box…she wasn’t going to leave anything behind…”
    “Granny wouldn’t go , would she?” said Agnes nervously. “I mean, not actually leave . She’s always here.”
    “Like I told you last night, she’s been herself lately,” said Nanny, vaguely. She sat down in the rocking chair.
    “You mean she’s not been herself, don’t you?” said Agnes.
    “I knows exactly what I means, girl. When she’s herself she snaps at people and sulks and makes herself depressed. Ain’t you ever heard