Catweazle and the Magic Zodiac

he said. Mrs Gowdie straightened up and brushed a currant from her
fingers. ‘You’ve got to pidl yourself together, Henry,’ she said firmly.
‘You’re letting this marrow get on top of you.’
    ‘Not if
I can help it,’ groaned Groome. ‘It’s a judgement, that’s what it is. Where
will it end? Where will it end?’ and he rushed out almost knocking over Lady
Collingford as she came into the kitchen.
    ‘What
on earth’s the matter with Groome?’ she said, staring after him.
    ‘It’s
his .. er... marrow,’ said Mrs Gowdie. ‘It’s rather serious, my lady. He’s
become obsessed with the idea that it’s six feet long!’
    ‘What!’
    ‘He
really believes it. I’m getting worried.’
    ‘I’ve
never heard anything so absurd. He’s obviously got over-excited.’
    At that
moment, Lord Collingford came in, wild-eyed and trembling. His marrow too, had
grown to six feet and was beginning to push its way out of the greenhouse.
‘Dottie,’ he said hoarsely, ‘could I have a word with you about…’ his voice
dropped to a whisper, ‘my marrow.'
    Meanwhile,
Cedric watched as his father’s huge marrow, now fully ten feet long, gave a
great shudder and completely demolished the greenhouse. He looked at Catweazle
in alarm. ‘How big are they going to get?’ he demanded.
    ‘I know
not, my brother,’ said Catweazle, smiling happily.
    ‘That
thing’s running amok!’ said Cedric. ‘You’ve got to do something.’
    ‘Ay,’
said Catweazle, ‘make more potion.’
    ‘What
for?’ asked Cedric.
    ‘Bananas!’
said Catweazle greedily, as he scampered away fizzing with excitement. ‘I will
make mighty bananas!'
    ‘Come
back!’ yelled Cedric, but Catweazle took no notice.
    Cedric
ran through the grounds in a panic and reached the front of Kings Farthing just
as Archie Goodwin arrived in his little van. Archie was the owner of a large
nursery near Elderford and had come to judge the various fruit and vegetable
competitions.
    ‘Hello,
Cedric, old boy,’ he said jovially, ‘where’s your Dad? Tending his marrow is
he?’ He opened the back of his van and took out a large basket of vegetables.
‘Here,’ he said, ‘better stick ’em in the kitchen.’
    ‘Oh,
thanks,’ said Cedric.
    ‘Mind
the marrow,’ said Archie, tapping it gently ‘Bet you won’t see one like that
this afternoon.’
    Cedric
saw his distraught father in the distance and beat a hasty retreat.
    ‘Hello
Archie,’ said Lord Collingford, breathlessly. ‘Glad you could come.’
    ‘How’s
your marrow, sir?’ inquired Archie politely.
    Lord
Collingford shuddered. ‘Dreadful,’ he groaned.
    ‘Sorry
to hear that,’ said Archie. ‘You won’t enter it then?’
    ‘Enter
it?’ gasped Lord Collingford, with a vision of being swallowed up by the
monster.
    ‘For
the competition,’ said Archie.
    ‘I
can’t,’ said Lord Collingford, ‘it’s too big.’
    ‘Too
big?’ grinned Archie.
    Lord
Collingford gripped Archie’s arm. ‘Ten feet long,’ he said desperately. ‘Four
feet thick.’
    Archie
roared with laughter. ‘Oh, that’s jolly good! Ten feet long!’ and he shook with
laughter again.
    ‘And
still growing,’ said Lord Collingford, angry that Archie wasn’t taking him
seriously.
    ‘Still
growing!’ howled Archie, holding his sides and hooting with mirth.
    ‘I’m
serious, Archie,’ said Lord Collingford angrily. ‘It’s wrecked the greenhouse!’
    Archie
was crying with laughter. Tears of joy were rolling down his red cheeks and
getting lost in his moustache. He tried hard to pull himself together. ‘Oh
dear,’ he gasped, ‘that’s the best one I’ve heard for weeks, it really is. I’d
better get over to the marquee and leave you to — ’ he burst into helpless
laughter again — ‘finish growing your marrow!’
    Still
laughing, Archie left Lord Collingford and went off in the direction of the
marquee where he met Groome walking along in a rather dazed condition.
    ‘Afternoon,
Mr Groome,’ said Archie.
    ‘Hello,
Mr Goodwin,’ muttered Groome.
    ‘How’s
your marrow?’ said Archie.
    Groome
looked at him, with a haunted expression on his face. ‘You’d never believe me,’
he said.
    ‘Ah,
you can’t catch me with that one,’ chuckled Archie knowingly.
    ‘What?’
said Groome.
    ‘It’s
ten feet long, isn’t it?’ said Archie with a wink. ‘It’s wrecked the
greenhouse!’ and before Groome could recover from his surprise, Archie walked
away laughing merrily.
    A few
minutes