Coda 02 -A to Z

crazy, and in the end, I dug in my heels and refused to quit simply out of spite. We went to bed angry more often than not. And then there was the night I didn’t come home at all. It was the first of many.
    Needless to say it was all downhill from there.
    Looking back it seemed like that job application had been the first domino, setting off the chain reaction of my life: getting the job, Jonathan leaving, then buying the store, and then a blur of empty days until the day I met Tom. Then like a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel, there was Angelo.
    Suddenly he stepped in front me and leaned against the door, looking up at me with his lopsided grin.

    “You’re doin’ the right thing, Zach.”

    And looking at him, I felt in my heart that it was true. “I know.”

    We left the key with Jeremy and said goodbye to him and Sensei. Angelo even promised to register as a Libertarian. “When should I come by your place?” I asked him as we left Jeremy’s store.

    “What do you mean?” he asked, in a confused tone that wasn’t at all typical of him.
    “Your apartment,” I said as I turned to look at him. The look on his face surprised me. His eyes were huge, and he looked like he was getting ready to bolt, if he could just find an escape route. “When do you want to pack your stuff?”
    “Oh,” he said, and his gaze slid sideways away from mine. “I’ll take care of it.”
    “By yourself?” I asked skeptically.
“Yeah.”
    I waited, but he didn’t say anything else. He still wasn’t looking at me. Finally I said, “Angelo, are you trying to tell me you’re going to carry all of your furniture out of your apartment and put it in the truck by yourself ?” I tried not to sound sarcastic when I said it, but didn’t succeed completely.
    He blushed and looked at the ground. Then he glanced up at me warily. “Guess not.”

    “Is there something wrong, Ang?” I asked lightly. “Do you have another boyfriend at home you don’t want me to know about?” He smiled a little, and I saw some of the tension leave his shoulders.
    “No, not that.”
“What then?” I asked gently.
    He shrugged and looked away from me again, like he was looking for an answer to my question. He finally met my gaze and said, “Don’t normally let guys come to my place.”
    “Okay.” I had to think about that for a minute, about what exactly he was trying to tell me. He never took anybody home? “Not ever?” I asked skeptically.
    “Not ever,” he said with such conviction that I couldn’t help but believe him.
    “Okay,” I said softly, trying not to let my frustration show. “I’m not trying to push you, Ang, but I think you might need to make an exception, this one time.” He looked at me distrustfully. “I’m not trying to move in, Ang. I’m just trying to help you move out .”
    He sighed. He pushed his hair out of his face and looked away from me. His shoulders slumped a little, and he said, “I know, Zach.”
    “What about when we get to Coda?”

    He looked back at me again, and a slow blush started to creep up his cheeks. “What ’bout it?”

    I had a feeling he knew exactly what I was talking about, but I said it anyway. “I’ll have to help you move your stuff in there too.” His cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red, but he didn’t look away. “No,” he said firmly. “Matt’s helpin’ me.”
    “You already talked to him about it?” I asked in surprise. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want you there.”
    I had no idea what to say. All I managed was, “Oh.” He could have punched me, and it would have hurt less. I tried not to let him see how upset I was. “If that’s how you want it.”
    “It is.”
    He was moving all the way to Coda to be with me, but at the same time, he was closing a door between us, shutting me out of his life. How was I supposed to react to that? I just nodded and turned away from him, heading for my car.
    “Zach,” he said as he reached out and grabbed my arm, waited for me to turn and face him. He looked up at me, and I could see in his eyes that he was desperate for me to understand. “I need my place to be mine , Zach. That’s all. It’s not ’cause of you.” He stepped closer, leaned against me, and looked up at me through his bangs. “Don’t be mad, Zach.”
    “I’m not mad,” I said, and it was the truth. Hurt, yes. But not mad. “Do you want me to help you move out or not?”
    He hesitated, and then nodded.