Days of Love and Blood

change in demeanor. I turned my back on him and walked back to the house.
    “Aw, fuck you , bitch,” he said. It didn’t quite roll off my back and I shuddered under the weight of my disappointment.
    “Can someone help me get the stuff out of my camper?” I said as I looked up to Solomon. A few people nodded their heads and left the porch for my R.V.
    “Let me help you find Ronan,” said Ivy. She stepped down and put her arms around me. I looked up as she led me away to see a smile smeared over Jayde’s face.
    “Bitch,” I said under my breath.
    “Who?”
    “ Jayde,” I answered truthfully.
    “ Jayde,” she sighed. Ivy led me to the side of the house where I could hear children playing.
    “Do you know something I don’t?” I asked.
    “I don’t really know. I just know that Jayde tried to get close to Cooper and it didn’t work out.”
    “That explains it,” I said.
    “What?”
    “Doesn’t matter anymore.”
    “Did you and Cooper get close?” I stopped and shrugged my shoulders. I hid my scrunched up face behind my hands and fell down on her shoulder.
    “I’m so sorry.”
    “It’s my own stupid fucking fault.”
    “I can’t believe he said that. I can’t believe he said it like that, in front of everyone.”
    “Me either,” I said. “I thought I was impervious to his assholeness. I didn’t think he would do that to me.”
    “He’s got problems.”
    “He lost a son,” I said. I regretted it immediately. It wasn’t my secret to tell.
    “He had a son ? I had no idea. Oh my God. Wow.”
    “His name was Cameron. The virus took him. Cooper’s worse off than most of us.”
    “Don’t you try to defend him.”
    “I’m not,” I said. “But I recognize his pain.”
    “I know you do.”
    “Ronan!” I yelled. “Time to go!”
    I walked back to the camper with Ronan under my arm. Marianna , Gretchen and Cassie were waiting for me by the door. My own personal pity party had formed. They invited themselves over for the rest of the day. I wanted to say no but Ivy wouldn’t let me. They all piled into the R.V. including Marianna’s two boys.
    When we got to the house I heard a voice coming from my office. I let the women invade my liquor cabinet while I ran to catch the two-way in the study.
    “Carson? Can you hear me?”
    “I read you. This is Carson. Who’s this?”
    “Hi, Carson. It’s Ben. Up at the house.”
    “I know who you are, Ben.”
    “Right. I wanted to catch you before you left but I missed you. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” My face flushed when I realized he must have heard Cooper’s rant.
    “You don’t have to.”
    “I know. I wanted to. And I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from but I wanted to say that I agree with you.”
    “ Thank you.”
    “I’m having second thoughts about being here. You know? I mean, it really scared me today. That you were taking a vote on killing people. No trial, no lawyers, no discovery. It really scared the fuck out of me.” Ben’s voice was off. He pitched every few words abnormally.
    “I’m sorry, Ben. I know. It wasn’t exactly a conversation I ever expected to be involved in. It scared me too.”
    “I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.”
    “Ditto.”
    “I was really glad when you showed up. I was so relieved that you didn’t feel the same way. I mean, I can’t explain to you how relieved I was. The whole thing scared the shit outta me.”
    “I’ m sorry,” I said. And I really was. Ben had emerged from complete isolation into a band of people in distress. “Just try to think about all of the people here who lost loved ones. No one’s right in the head. No one’s got it straight right now. It’s going to take time for people to start seeing things the way they should. Do you know what I mean? Don’t let it scare you.”
    “I know.”
    “I don’t think you should leave. It’s safer here.”
    “Is it? What if Cooper decides that I should die next?”
    “He wo n’t.”
    “How do you know?”
    “Those men, those guys were different. I see his side even though I don’t agree. But he wouldn’t just wake up one morning and put you on his death list.”
    “He has a death list?”
    “No,” I laughed. “It was an expression.” There was a moment of silence followed by a few quick, short breaths.
    “Y our laugh made me feel better,” he said.
    “Are you going to be okay, Ben?”
    “The girls are there, right?”
    “They are .”
    “Can I come over?