Deaths Excellent Vacation

their eyes gleamed from the darkness underneath.
    “The Heart demands,” one intoned, in a deep, beautiful bell-voice.
    “The Heart demands!” the others answered, in chorus.
    Kate screamed again. It was a lonely, despairing sound.
    I put my feet down, dug my claws in. “Stay back!” I yelled. The harsh note cut across their singing, a blot on their beauty.
    I should have never brought her here. Too late now.
    They drew closer. They didn’t pay any attention to my warning, and both hearts inside my skin stopped beating.
    Everything grew still. And I made up my mind. Too little too late, but I did it. I decided, and everything inside me fell into place.
    I set the point of the obsidian knife against my chest. Oh, my Heart. Kate. I’m sorry.
    They wouldn’t hurt her if the Heart received its tithe. That was the Tiend—the payment of a heart.
    They were almost close enough to spring. I knew that even though they were in robes, they were still gargoyles. I knew their strength and speed because I knew my own. Kate grabbed at my shoulders. She was shouting something. I couldn’t hear her through the noise of my heart and my Heart crashing in my ears.
    The Heart spoke to me.
    And I shoved the knife in hard, piercing both Heart and heart. It’s not that difficult if you know where to press. If you’re determined, and if you can hit one of us when we’re flesh and not stone. Or flesh in just one vulnerable place.
    The Heartlight dimmed.
    And my hearts . . . stopped.

    IT felt like I’d been dropped in broken glass, rolled around, then dipped in acid and pulled apart. My head pounded. Everything seemed put together wrong.
    Oh, shit. Didn’t I die?
    There was a blurry light. Silvery and cool. Something warm stroking my forehead. It felt good.
    “I think he’s coming around,” she whispered.
    My eyes opened slowly. “Kate?” I croaked.
    Behind her was stone ribbing. It was the same room I’d been in all afternoon. No sunlight, though. This was pure Heartlight, and the pulse in the walls was soft and satisfied.
    “I’m here.” She touched my cheek. Smiling. She was smiling. “Hey.”
    “Welcome back.” This was from our guide. He’d pushed his hood back, and I stared at him in wonderment.
    Smooth skin. Regular nose, low wide cheekbones, blue eyes. He wouldn’t win any prizes, but he wasn’t a squashed-together linebacker with pitted skin and picket fence teeth.
    He was unquestionably gargoyle, though. His ears came up to points and I could sense the Heart in him, echoing the beat in the walls.
    “What the . . . ?” It was the best I could manage.
    “Congratulations.” He pushed his long, straight dark hair back behind one ear. “You passed the test. You’re an Inner now. You can stay here, or you can go out into the world and do the same kind of work you did before. With your Heart.” He glanced at Kate, who was still in the same red dress. It was satin, and my God but her va-va-vooms looked even . . . well, voomier.
    “Huh?” I blinked. Kate stroked my cheek again.
    “They told me you wouldn’t hurt me.” Her smile was a little less tired now. The dress was cut low enough that I could see the upper edge of the mark on her left breast, running with its dark fluorescence. “All I had to do was scream. No big deal, I’ve done a lot of that lately.”
    “I’ll leave you two to get acquainted.” Our guide nodded smartly. “Brother. Miss Katherine.”
    “What the hell ?” I still sounded lost. Everything hurt, but the hurt was receding. “The Heart—”
    “The Heart has had its tithe.” The guide nodded, once. “You fulfilled the Tiend. Rest.”
    And with that, he swept out the door. It closed softly, and I stared up at Kate. I stared at her so long she shrugged, defensively.
    “This is all weird as fuck.” Her shoulders hunched. “But it’s better than checking at EvilMart.”
    “He looks . . .”
    “Not so bad, huh? You’re much better.” Her grin lit up her entire face. “They explained everything. Well, mostly everything. You did what you were supposed to do, and now you’re free.”
    “I thought I was dead.” The weakness retreated. I pushed myself up on my elbows and lifted my hand.
    The fingers were still callused and strong, but they weren’t gray and gnarled. And when I touched my own face I didn’t find craters. I found smooth skin and stubble, and my nose wasn’t a squashed mushroom. My tongue ran over my teeth, and the familiar geography inside my mouth