Deaths Excellent Vacation

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    This is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.
     
    This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
     
Collection copyright © 2010 by Charlaine Harris, Inc., Toni L. P. Kelner, and Tekno Books.

     
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    No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
    ACE and the “A” design are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
     
     
    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
     
    eISBN : 978-1-101-18914-6
    1. Occult fiction, American. 2. Short stories, American. 3. Vampires—Fiction. 4. Demonology—Fiction. 5. Vacations—Fiction. I. Harris, Charlaine. II. Kelner, Toni L. P.
    PS648.O33D43 2010
    813′.708037—dc22 2010015526
     

     

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This book is dedicated to Alan Ball, who has given the supernatural world a huge boost by bringing it to the screen in a gloriously sexy and bloody hour of entertainment.

INTRODUCTION
    AFTER we’d done as much damage to birthdays ( Many Bloody Returns ) and to the Christmas holidays ( Wolfsbane and Mistletoe ) as we could, we started brainstorming about our next anthology’s theme. What hadn’t we covered? We’re sort of saving Arbor Day, and so many paranormals don’t celebrate the Fourth of July.
    Toni brought up the summer holidays. Since we’re both moms with kids in school (albeit kids of very different ages), the idea made us gleeful. But we decided to broaden it a bit to include all vacations, because we didn’t want to leave out the possibility of a really good vampire skiing story. Unfortunately, as it happened, none was turned in to us by our stellar list of authors.
    But we got some great stories, with settings as varied as a hotel in California, a family reunion in Ireland, the headquarters of a mysterious sect in Paris, and other interesting locales ranging from the exotic to the ridiculous . . . and we love them all.
    Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve lined up house sitters, and we’ve packed our sunscreen and paperbacks. We’re officially on vacation. We’ll send you a postcard!
     
    Charlaine Harris
Toni L. P. Kelner

Two Blondes
    CHARLAINE HARRIS
     
     
    Charlaine Harris, #1 New York Times bestselling author, has been writing for twenty-seven years. Her body of work includes many novels, a few novellas, and a growing body of short stories in genres such as mystery, science fiction, and romance. Married and the mother of three, Charlaine lives in rural Arkansas with her family, three dogs, and a Canada goose. She pretty much works all the time. The HBO series True Blood is based on Charlaine’s Sookie Stackhouse novels.

    “SO why are we going to Tunica?” I asked Pam. “And what are we supposed to do when we get there?”
    “We’re going to see the sights and gamble,” Pam said. The headlights of a passing car glinted on Pam’s pale, straight hair. Pam was paler than her hair and approximately a hundred and sixty years old, give or take a decade. She’d