Deaths Excellent Vacation

pulled my knees close to my chest and inhaled deeply and slowly, the way I’d been taught by the pack. According to the instructor, I was supposed to gather my chi or find my center or something equally mystical, but for me, the breathing was enough to prevent me from Changing.
    Just then I heard footsteps. A door opened, and dim light flowed into what now looked like a basement workroom. There were tools on shelves and tables around the edge of the room, but unfortunately nothing was close enough for me to reach. A moment later, Pirate Dave stepped inside, and his expression was far from friendly.
    “I didn’t realize you were so adamant about my staying for the fireworks,” I said. “Or is this how you treat all your Sea Queens?”
    He didn’t respond, just came closer.
    Once again, I noticed that his scent was wrong. It was like nobody I’d ever encountered, and I finally recognized the metallic tang I’d noticed a hint of before. It was blood.
    He stopped just out of my reach, met my eyes, and said, “I want to know why you’re here.”
    “You tell me! You’re the one who locked me up in a damned cage.”
    He seemed taken aback. He went down on one knee, so we were eye to eye. “Why are you here?”
    “Hello? Because you put me here!”
    Now he was clearly nonplussed. “Tell me who you are.”
    “I’m Queen Joyce, remember?” Since I could see my purse on a workbench, I added, “You’ve got my stuff—go check my driver’s license.”
    “Damnation!” he said as he stood. “What are you? Witch? Demon spawn? God, not the fae! Please don’t be one of the fae.”
    “Excuse me?”
    “Don’t bother to deny it—I should have known from the way you snagged that doubloon. You’re not human!”
    “Well, neither are you,” I said, suddenly convinced that nobody with that scent could be.
    “True enough.” He smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile. It was, however, toothy. Overly so, with two prominent fangs.
    “You’re a vampire?” I’d been told about vampires during Werewolf Orientation, but I hadn’t really believed it. At that point, it had been hard enough for me to believe in werewolves, let alone all the other horror movie denizens. If the issue of immunity to vampiric influence had been mentioned, I hadn’t been paying attention.
    He eyed me again. “You move too fast to be a zombie. Not foul enough for a ghoul. Too tall for a leprechaun. Werewolf?”
    “We prefer to call ourselves Lupine Americans.”
    “I knew my troubles had to be supernatural in origin—no human could cause so much chaos. But I hadn’t suspected werewolves. What are you after? The park? Or were you hired by some other power?”
    “Because the whole supernatural world is dying to own a rundown amusement park. Let me explain this to you slowly. I. Am. On. Vacation.”
    “I may not be able to glamour you, wolfling, but there are other ways of getting information, ways I don’t think you’ll enjoy,” he said, circling the cage slowly. Then he picked up a power drill from one of the workbenches. “I understand you heal quickly, but I wager that this would still hurt.”
    “It would if you had an extension cord,” I pointed out. “Besides which, if you get close enough to try anything, I’m going to give myself a lesson in vampire anatomy. From the inside.”
    He put down the drill. “I don’t have to get close. All I have to do is wait for you to get hungry. Hungry as a wolf, you might say.”
    “What makes you think I’m going to stay in this cage?” I deliberately started to undress. Well, not completely—the pack members I’d met were comfortable with public nudity, but I wasn’t. I did take off my sandals and shorts and pulled my bra off under my shirt. The panties and shirt would withstand the Change.
    “No wolf could tear through those bars,” Pirate Dave said smugly.
    I concentrated, and the mist of the Change surrounded me, blocking both my view of the vampire and his view of me. One of the first things I’d had to unlearn was the idea that a werewolf had to become a wolf. After all, a wolf is genetically the same as a dog, and there were lots of breeds of dogs. When the mist cleared, I charged through the bars of the cage and leaped at him. Pirate Dave screamed like a little girl as I bit down on his ankle. Admittedly, a chihuahua wasn’t the most fearsome of canines, but my teeth were plenty sharp and I definitely had the element of surprise on my side.
    He tried to kick me