Deep Betrayal

the boat.
    “That’s not the way I remember it.”
    “You were barely conscious, Lily. How would you remember anything?” He seemed mad now, and I sat down on the seat.
    “Okay. I’ll bite. What’s this really about?” I asked. “You should be focused on other things right now.”
    “I wanted to be a hero, but I couldn’t do it.”
    “I didn’t want to be saved,” I reminded him. “ I was trying to do the saving. If you had interfered, they’d still be after my dad.”
    Neither of us spoke for a while, and the waves sloshed rhythmically against the hull.
    “I’ll never understand you, Lily. No ordinary girl would have done what you did.”
    “I’ve never claimed to be ordinary.”
    “Right,” he said, drawing out the word. “You’re a Half.”
    “What do you think that means, exactly? That’s what Pavati called us, too.”
    “Pavati?”
    I forgot I hadn’t mentioned her little visit. I kept going. “Aren’t we all half? Except for you, of course, but Maris, Pavati, Dad—they all had human fathers and mermaid mothers. They’re Halfs, too. If Pavati was to have a baby—”
    “Don’t make me laugh, but, yeah, I see what you’re saying. The thing is, you’re the reverse. You have a merman father and human mother.”
    “And that makes a difference?”
    “Apparently, it makes a very fortunate difference. It’s what’s keeping you from busting out with a tail.”
    “I don’t see that as a good thing. If I could swim faster …”
    Calder started up the boat again, drowning me out, and followed the Bayfield Peninsula around to Raspberry Island, cutting north between it and York. The farther north we traveled, the more my muscles tightened with trepidation. Calder must have been nervous, too, because he barely spoke over the next few hours, except to shout out meaningless comments about the islands, or the depth of the water, or finally the Rock of Ages lighthouse off Isle Royale.
    Just north of the lighthouse, Calder slowed the boat and quieted the motor. He picked up our earlier conversation.
    “I’ve been thinking, Lily, that it is a very good thing, youbeing a Half. If you were a full-on mermaid, think what that would mean. That would mean the whole package. The whole enchilada. You’d be miserable. I’d be right back where I started. We’d both be hunting the lake for kayakers.”
    “I can’t speak for you, but I doubt I’d be miserable. As long as we were together, we’d still be happy.”
    “I’d like to think so, but the truth is we have no way of knowing. This is going to sound harsh, but based on everything I’ve been taught, you and Sophie shouldn’t exist. Remember I told you mermen aren’t supposed to reproduce? That’s why Maris was so skittish around you on Oak Island. You were wondering about that, weren’t you? She doesn’t know what to make of merman offspring. She thinks you’re a freak of nature or something.”
    “That’s a bit ironic, don’t you think?”
    “To you, maybe.”
    I laced my fingers through his. “Do you think I’m a freak of nature?”
    “Absolutely. Just my type.”
    Your type , I thought. Is that the best you can do? “Remember when you busted me for eavesdropping?”
    “Vividly.”
    “I heard my dad ask you … about how you felt about me?” I should be thoroughly flogged. Why am I doing this? Just shut up, Lily. Shut up before it’s too late . “I never heard your answer.”
    Calder turned the key and cut the engine. The silence was startling.
    “You know how I feel about you,” he said. I couldn’t help but notice the strange tightness in his eyes. “I’ve made no secret about it.”
    “You need me,” I said.
    “Yes.”
    “People need lots of things.”
    The corners of his mouth flinched upward, but if it was supposed to be a smile it was barely perceptible. “What do you want me to say, Lily?”
    Say that you love me. Before I do. Say it out loud . “It doesn’t matter what I want you to say. It matters what you want to say.”
    “This isn’t exactly the right moment,” he said.
    “We’re about to go looking for a potentially killer water spirit. There might not be any other moments.”
    I didn’t see where he pulled it from, but Calder rolled the dagger handle around in his palm. “Your dad wanted to know my intentions. But what I want doesn’t matter in the end.”
    “The end of what?”
    “Summer.” Calder motored our boat slowly across the water now. It barely felt like we were