Devils & Blue Dresses: My Wild Ride as a Rock and Roll Legend

in penalty of breach of contract completely baffled me, but at his insistence I gave him a figure. It was, after all, only imaginary money. It was a game and I was a fool.
    Prager told me they had been discussing my arrival and had big plans for me. He was anxious to get things started and offered me a contract that would pay me twelve hundred dollars a month for the first year of the contract. That was a monetary figure I could somewhat grasp the importance of, and it meant Kim and I could finally have our own place again. The thought of recording again with powerful management behind me, along with the money to pick Kim and me up from the horrible condition we had fallen to, and the fact that someone still thought of me as a star worth promoting. . . it was all too much for me.
    After the meeting and in a moment of true thankfulness, joy, and salvation I said, “Thank you, Bud. Thank you very much. I love you.” In the only instance he would ever be honest with me again, Prager said, “Don’t say that. There will come a time when you won’t feel that way.”
    What should have served as a warning was tossed aside while my trembling hand waited to sign the contracts. The first check arrived and Kim and I immediately set up house in an apartment in Farmington Hills. We thanked Uncle George and Aunt Erika for everything and moved what little we owned.
    I began to write songs again; it had been so long. I even looked to the future with hope. I stayed true to my craft and when I spoke to Prager he’d say, “We’re trying to get you a recording contract.” I was curious about who they might be approaching, asI still had a contract with Paramount, but I stayed out of the way and asked no questions.
    Another check arrived and another month of songwriting and dreaming swept my emotions to happiness. I was feeling very positive and asked Susan to let my children visit. Soon, Dawn and Joel began visiting more frequently than they had in the previous two years. We were actually getting to know each other all over again and were having fun. Joel sometimes became upset and missed the comfort of his mother’s love, but we tried to fight those urges. Joel and I had never gotten a chance to become close, since I left him when he was still in a crib. His insecurity was to be expected.
    Dawn, on the other hand, had already become her daddy’s girl and a veteran traveler by the time Joel was born, and our love for each other didn’t need to be proven. We had missed each other much more than I was aware. The children were still young enough to bathe together and we played games and I tape recorded the sounds of my children’s laughter as they played in the tub or in their room.
    I also began to care for Kim in a way I never had before, and I surprised myself with such a good feeling. I wanted to protect Kim and help her heal. I was actually falling in love. Of course, I was unaware of just how sick I was.
    We had, as far as I could tell, both given up drugs and drinking. Spring arrived and it was the first spring I remembered enjoying in such a long time that I wished it would never end. I walked in the evenings with Kim and reassured her about our future. I told her I was going to reward her for her patience, her sacrifice, her love, and her belief in me. The welcome warm winds of renewal blew around us and I could breathe again.
    It’s funny how money works.

Chapter 21
     
    T HE DISTRUST AND LOATHING BETWEEN ARTIST and management that now existed in the form of the contracts I had been offered said volumes about how the business had changed in the years between 1964 and 1973. Lawyers. Even the contracts themselves were referred to as an exhibit, as if there was an anticipation of litigation connected to them. Well, it was inevitable given the fact that my band and I were only one in thousands of artists who had millions and millions of dollars ripped away from them by thieves known as managers and producers. The “business practitioners,” on the other hand, had to deal with the sometimes ungrateful and unreasonable egos of talent that, had they not been promoted by the slime-laced and well-connected scam-artist music establishment, could not have gotten arrested with their song and dance.
    Prager’s contracts went unread by me and I blindly threw my trust into his hands. These were the same hands that liked to sit on beds during interviews and pound his chest while talking about how artists were endeared to his