Doctor at Sea

remember?’
    ‘That’s right,’ Archer agreed.’ Good old Doc. Mozo! Bill!’
    Another bill was presented. Before they read the figures I knew what was coming.
    ‘That ten quid means five hundred pesos,’ Hornbeam said solemnly.’ Then there’s this here - have you got any left, Doc?’
    I threw him a few peso notes.
    ‘Umm,’ he said. ‘Looks as if we need about five hundred pesos.’
    ‘Well,’ Trail said brightly.’ The Doc had better go back for some more.’
    I banged the table.
    ‘No!’ I said. ‘No, I damn well won’t! I don’t care if we all go to jail, but I’m not going back to the ship!’ The manager, who had been hovering in the distance like a well-preened vulture, put his head into our group.
    ‘Anything wrong, gentlemen?’ he asked.
    ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘We can’t pay the bill.’
    I folded my arms and prepared to be arrested with the dignity of an Englishman.
    ‘Unfortunate,’ said the manager.
    ‘Bloody unfortunate,’ Hornbeam said.
    ‘How much are you gentlemen short? Five hundred pesos, I see. You are seafaring gentlemen, are you not?’
    ‘Don’t we look like it?’ I said.
    ‘A not uncommon predicament.Always seafaring gentlemen. A nice watch you have,’ he said to Trail.’ Must be worth at least a hundred pesos.’
    ‘It cost me twenty quid in Durban,’ Trail said hotly. I stopped him.
    ‘Hand it over,’ I said.
    He sulkily unstrapped his watch.
    ‘You other gentlemen have equally valuable timepieces,’ the manager continued.
    ‘Your turn,’ Trail said, brightening a little.
    Hornbeam, Archer, and I surrendered ours.
    ‘I think,’ the manager continued,’ a Parker 51 would settle it.’
    I gave him the pen from my pocket.
    ‘Now get the hell out of here, you bums,’ he said, ‘or I’ll get the cops on you.’
    We stood, a forlorn quartet, on the pavement.
    ‘Oh well,’ said Hornbeam.’ You know what I told you the other night. The only thing to do with life is to live it. Now let’s start walking back to the ship.’

14

    IF you must be broke, there are many conveniences in being broke as a seafarer on ship’s articles. The necessities of life, such as food, shelter, cigarettes, and gin, continue to be supplied regularly, either free or on account until the end of the voyage; and the state arouses among one’s companions a lively sympathy expressed on land only on occasions of severe illness or other bitter natural misfortune. When the story of our visit to the Saratoga spread round the ship the next morning we were chivvied with offers of help from all hands.
    ‘Had a bit of a night of it, I hear, Doctor,’ Easter said jovially.
    ‘I’m afraid so.’
    ‘I don’t hold with that there Saratoga,’ he continued reflectively.’ Mind you, they has some very posh tarts there, very posh. But they don’t ‘arf burn up the rhino. Is it worth it? I ask you. Now, me and Chippy goes ashore quiet like, and has a few beers in old Ma Whitehead’s. If we feels like indulging, as you might say, we goes round the back to a little place what Chippy reckons he was first taken to by his father when he was sailing as a deckboy. Mind, they ain’t no great beauties in there. In fact, Chippy reckons they’re the same ones what his father knew. But they come economic like, and that’s something these days, ain’t it, Doctor?’
    ‘Thank you, Easter. I appreciate your little lecture on thrift.’
    ‘We lives and learns, Doctor. How about a small contribution, if you’ve run yourself short?’ He pulled a bundle of peso notes from his jacket pocket.
    ‘Definitely no!’ I held up my hand.’ I insist on suffering justly for my indiscretions. Besides, I am already in debt to you. If you lent me any more you might not have enough left for your own modest pleasures, such as you have just described. 5
    ‘That’s all right, Doctor. I just flogged some of that there penicillin what was expired. Dr Flowerday and I used to split it fifty-fifty, but I don’t mind taking forty-sixty to oblige. Barmy on penicillin, these Argentinos, I got rid of them there pills we didn’t know what they was - them green ones in the back of the locker. Told ‘em they was good for virility and charged a peso each. They go in for that sort of stuff a lot down here.’
    ‘It is very kind of you, Easter, but - for reasons which I should be ashamed to confess — I much prefer you to keep the proceeds to yourself.’
    ‘As you say, Doctor. Tip me the wink if you wants