Doctor at Sea

tumbler of Benedictine and glared at the rest of us in defiance of contradiction.
    ‘I am sure it is, Captain. Now, gentlemen, I am going to talk to you on a most serious topic. It is British Prestige.’ he took on his smartest Chamber of Commerce manner.’ It is hardly necessary for me to trace the course of events in this bustling sub-continent since the cessation of hostilities - hostilities, gentlemen, in which the Company we represent suffered as grievously as any - but you will, I am sure, all appreciate that the interest of our Motherland in its affairs has increased rather than diminished, though in the face of severe, and sometimes to us inexplicable, opposition. Some more Benedictine, Captain?’
    ‘Thank you, Mr Montmorency.’
    ‘Pass the bottle round, gentlemen. As I was saying. The tail of the British lion has been severely put out of joint ...’
    He went on about the Old Red Duster, Free Trade, the Socialists, Nationalization, Hard Times, the necessity to pull together, put our shoulders to the wheel, steer a straight course, and not rock the boat. All of us were hazily wondering where the speech was leading him and uneasily contemplating our own guilty consciences. I nervously calculated the turnover in Easter’s dockside pharmaceutical dealings, Hornbeam thought anxiously about his stevedores’presents, and Whimble was wondering how to account for the ham and two cases of tinned pears that had somehow vanished between Santos and the River Plate. But, if these skeletons were visible to the penetrating eye of Mr Montmorency, he was not going to mention it. I suddenly realized he was saying ‘... there will, of course, be a running buffet and the best we can do in the way of drinks. It will give the British colony here a bit of an outing, reassure the local businessmen, send up the prestige of the Line, and, in a small way, that of the Old Country. Besides, gentlemen, it will fittingly usher in the New Year. Any comments?’
    McDougall, who had fallen asleep, woke up at the words ’New Year’ and blew his nose loudly.
    ‘A very generous offer,’ Captain Hogg growled. ‘On behalf of my officers and crew, I should like to express my gratitude to the management.’
    ‘Thank you, Captain. Now, gentlemen, you are the senior officers. You know my plans, and I expect you to make it a success. This dance on shipboard must be remembered in Buenos Aires as one of the events of the season.’
    A dance on shipboard...I saw at once Tissot’s painting - matchwood decks, fragile rails, graceful bright brasswork; summery officers with downy whiskers, in gold and blue and white; clean sailors, contented bandsmen, delicate ladies in sprays of frills; frail parasols pirouetting beneath a canopy of the majestic ensigns of half a dozen now forgotten empires...Into this they were going to turn the Lotus , tied up by a meat works.
    The news of the New Year’s Eve Dance fell upon the ship’s company like a heavy breaker on the beach, overwhelming the minor ripples already set up by our misfortunes in the Saratoga the previous night. Reactions to the party differed sharply. Easter was frankly disgusted.
    ‘I ask you!’ he said, coming into my cabin and tossing an armful of my clean laundry peevishly on the bunk.’ What a lash-up! Fags, fairy-lights, and ladies’ lavatories! Cor! I dunno what they think this hooker is. The Queen Mary isn’t in it.’
    ‘Surely, Easter, after your experience on the transatlantic boats you would welcome a touch of the atmosphere of a large liner?’
    ‘What, on this old tramp? First-class smoke-room now, that’s different. All the nobs in there getting stinko, not noticing you rook ‘em on the measure. And slipping you a quid or two to show ‘em the way to some young bit’s cabin - discreet like. What are we going to get on this old tub? Crowd of shore-wallahs looking for free booze, that’s what. Fat lot of good that is!’
    ‘You may be able to interest some of them in the three-card trick.’
    He brightened a little.’ I might that, Doctor. But there ain’t no flies on them round these parts.’
    Trail was ecstatic.’ Have you seen this, Doc?’ he called to me the next day, waving a sheet of typewritten paper. ’List of guests. Take a dekko. Don’t bother with this lot, Ambassador, Bishop, and so on, asked but not able to come...Look here - Mister and Missus and. daughter. Here again - and daughters. All the way down - Miss, Miss, Miss. Lovely grub! The