Existence 03 - Ceaseless

digging out those rosary beads of Miranda’s.
    “Death is one being. Dankmar is Death. He has been and will forever be.”
    “Why do you call him Dankmar ?”
    “It’s his name. Dankmar means ‘famous for his spirit ’ . It fits. He used to only have the name Death. An old Irish lady gave it to him right before her soul’s departure. She said he deserved a name more fitting.”
    His name meant something? Why did that tug at me? He was Death , for crying out loud. “Why is he a lead singer in a band?”
    Gee cackled with laughter, “That’s a damn good question. Even Death gets bored. Every few dec ades he is something different. It all started in the first century when he became a Gladiator. The list is long but the ones that amused me most were when h e was a pirate in the 15 00s, an outlaw in the 1800s and in the 1920s he was a gangster. He found a music that appealed to him in the early eighties. So now when Death isn’t taking souls , he ’ s a singer in a rock band. However, one time not to o long ago he was putting an end to that one too. He had something else that filled his time. That has changed recently.”
    “So Death just walks the earth? He has no other dwelling?” I was having a hard time wrapping my head around this.
    “Yep. He just fills his limited free time with hobbies.”
    “Then what are you?”
    “I’m a transporter. I take the soul once Dankmar takes it from the body. I take it up or down. Whichever way it’s going. The ones that go up get another life. It’s pretty simple. Humans try to make it more complicated than it is. The creator doesn’t make new souls often. Only when so many bad have come through that his quantity of good is limited. For example, you’re a new soul.”
    I was a new soul. How strange. People lived their entire life not knowing if they had past lives. Not knowing if they would get another. But I now k new this was my first chance. My first experience. There was no past for me. This was it ; I only had future.
    “Is it my time to go? Is that why you and Dank are near me? Are you going to take my soul soon?” That was my biggest fear. I didn’t want to die. Surely if this was my first life I would get more than just eighteen short years.
    “Nope, Peggy Ann. You’re time isn’t up. I would be willing to bet you’re the only human alive that has an unlimited lifespan.”
“What?”
    Gee waved me off, “Nothing , forget I said that. Just rest assured we aren’t here to take you. However, Dank is fascinated with you. That doesn’t put you in danger. If he were to take your soul he wouldn’t get to keep it. He would lose it. The Creator would then take it. So, you are in no danger.”
    I sat there letting all this information process. I didn’t question it. This made sense. It was crazy as hell but it made sense. I felt complete peace about it. But there was one thing I wanted to make very clear. I lifted my eyes to meet Gee’s. “I do not want to see Dank again. Having Death as an acquaintance is not normal. I realize I’m not in danger but I want to be left alone. I want to date boys who can’t talk in my head and take souls from bodies. I’d like someone who isn’t immortal. Dank is appealing. He’s hard to push away. If he stayed near me I’d cave in and let him closer. I don’t want that. So, please, go.”
    Gee didn’t reply. She didn’t have a witty comeback or smart remark. After a few seconds I looked up and she was gone. No goodbye. No Gee. And No Dank.

    Dank
    I’d gambled and lost.
    Gee sat quietly beside me. She’d done what I asked her to. Pagan had made her choice. Even before she knew there was a choice to make. I would never be in the running. She didn’t want me near her. She didn’t want to see me again. I wouldn’t be able to walk this world unless I was working. I couldn’t deal with knowing she was here and I couldn’t talk to her. Touch her. Slipping the necklace she had given me I held it in my hands tigh tly. This was all I had of Pagan— t he Pagan who had loved me , who had accepted me for what I was , and had wanted me anyway. I couldn’t exist with any reminder of her. I had to leave my memories behind. I had to remember who I was and what I was meant to do. No more living in the human world.
    “She wants me to leave her alone.” It wasn’t a question. I was just trying to let the facts sink in. I’d do anything for her. I wanted her happy. She wasn’t happy with me. She didn’t love me.