Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

be alone for once, even though I was not looking forward to the conversation we were about to have.
    I followed Stephan to his room, and he shut the door behind us. He threw off his shoes, and went into the bathroom and began scrubbing away his zombie makeup. I did the same.
    “We make good zombies,” he says.
    “What did you think of Stacy and Anna?” I wonder.
    “Anna was seriously awesome.” He answers.“She looks up to you so much. And Stacy was… a bit intense, but I liked her. She was just looking out for you.”
    After we both scrub off the rest of our makeup, we go back inside his room and Stephan flops down on the bed face first. I take off my heels, and climb on beside him. He rolls over to look at me.
    “You know, you’re kind of beautiful without makeup.”
    “Kind of?” I question.
    “Not just kind of. You’re absolutely stunning, drop-dead gorgeous, beautiful, sexy… I could go on.”
    I can’t help but smile at his compliments. “I really thought you were going to break up with me tonight.”
    Stephan shakes his head. “You are smart, but I swear, sometimes you are absolutely clueless. Can you not see how much I care about you? Why would I break up with the girl I plan on spending the rest of my life with?”
    His words are so sweet. And I want to believe him, but I’m scared. How can I be so confident in myself, yet I can’t be confident in those around me? What more does he have to do to prove that he’s not leaving?
    “I’m pretty screwed up,” I tell him. “I ran away because I got scared. What if I run away again?”
    “I won’t let you run away,” he promises. “If you run, I will chase you. I won’t just let you go so easily next time.”
    “I am scared, Stephan,” I admit.
    “What are you scared of?”
    I’m scared that you won’t love me back. “I’m scared of losing you.”
    “I’m not going anywhere, Scarlett. How can I prove that to you?”
    Tell me you love me. “I don’t know. You say that now. But what if you change your mind.”
    “Nothing in life is absolutely definite.”
    “Exactly. And I don’t want you to break my heart.”
    Stephan pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. “Will you stay with me tonight? We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but I want you here.”
    I nod and lay my head on his chest.
    “I don’t know how many more ways that I can say this, but you are mine. I’m offering you forever here,” he says softly.
    “You’re only eighteen. How can you offer me forever? How can you know what the future holds?” I ask.
    “I can offer you forever, because I know that what I feel for you isn’t going away ever. I don’t know what the future holds, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever happens, my heart will always belong to you.”
    I ponder his words. Does that mean he loves me? Why won’t he tell me if he does? If what we have is truly forever, this shouldn’t be so complicated.
    “I wish I knew what you were thinking.”
    I laugh. “Well, you will know soon enough.”
    He looks at me with curiosity. “How?”
    “When you hear the song I wrote. The lyrics describe exactly how I feel about you,” I say, biting my lip. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Him knowing scares me. What if he hates it? What if he breaks up with me because of it?
    “I wish you could just tell me what you’re thinking.”
    I look at him, wishing that I could do the exact same thing. Love is what I’m thinking. It’s what I’m feeling. But I can’t get the words out. “I’m better at expressing myself through music.”
    “I hate that your parents made you this way.”
    “But maybe you can tell me how you feel…”
    He looks at me for a few seconds before responding. “I’m pretty sure you know how I feel. But I’m not certain that you feel the same way yet. So, I guess I’m scared of you rejecting me. I’d rather wait.”
    “But what if we both feel the same way?”
    Stephan smiles. “I guess we will see when I hear your song.”
    Damn, he’s good.
    “You frustrate the hell out of me,” I tell him.
    “Ditto,” he agrees. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?”
    “Why are you asking now? You’ve kissed me a hundred times before…”
    “True, but I promised I wouldn’t try anything tonight that you didn’t want,” he explains. “So I need to know if you want me to kiss you.”
    Instead of responding, I put my lips against his and kiss him.
    I’m sick of being good. Just one night, I want to