Fall from Love

seemed like she was always at our apartment this summer, never wanting to leave my side, but I guess there were a few nights when she went out. She had begged me to go with her, but I had always told her no.
    “He didn’t know I was coming over, did he?” I ask as she hands me a beer. She pops the caps off both our beers before meeting my eyes again and then she gives me that look. The look I’ve seen a million times before. The girl is extremely talented when it comes to expressing an emotion with just her face. Since I have been her roommate and best friend for over three years, I have come to know most of them. This specific one is her please-don’t-hate-me face.
    “Well, when he told me about the barbeque, I asked if Carter was going to be here. I told him that I was going to invite you and I wasn’t sure you were ready to see Carter again so soon. Really, I didn’t think it mattered anyway because I didn’t think you would actually come.”
    “Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “It’s not like it’s a big deal. I just couldn’t help but see the shock on his face when he saw me, is all.”
    “Well, he knows how important you are to me and he also knows what you’ve been through. I don’t think it was shock as much as it was the fact that he was glad to finally meet you.” She smiles. “Now, let’s get out of this stuffy garage and go have some fun.” She takes my free hand and begins to pull me out the door.
    We have only been here for an hour, but I already find myself wanting to go home. I’m not trying to be a downer; however, the only reason I keep smiling and pretending to have a good time is for Jenna’s benefit. Everyone is really nice, especially Josh, and it’s easy to see that the two of them make a great couple.
    “Shit,” Jenna says under her breath, interrupting the conversation she’s having with a guy named Paul.
    I glance over at her, wondering what has made her say that. My eyes follow her gaze to the guy who just walked outside. Although I don’t express her same words out loud, I’m definitely thinking them. Carter is here, standing just a few feet from me. My eyes follow his every step as he makes his way around the crowd, shaking a few peoples’ hands, and then his eyes find mine. I close my eyes and my mind immediately goes back to that night.
    After the phone call, the one where the voice on the other end told me to get to St. Anthony’s hospital as soon as possible, I sat on the bed, unable to move. Blood pounded in my ears and the words “there’s been an accident,” played on repeat in my head. There should have been an urge for me to rush out of his apartment... to panic... to cry or to scream. Instead, I just sat back down on Adam’s bed and stared around at his clothes, the pictures scattered on his dresser—most of them containing pictures of the two of us—and then I glanced over to my right, seeing the flower petals still scattered around the floor in his living room.
    After trying to call Jenna a few times and not getting an answer, I decided to go to the hospital alone. I walked into the emergency room, still in a daze, not even remembering the actual drive over there.
    The moment I walked in, the bright lights blinded me and the pungent smell of the hospital caused my stomach to roll a few times. My eyes wandered around the large room, where an older woman eyed me up and down, then leaned over and whispered something into her husband’s ear. Soon, he began to stare at me as well. My eyes drifted downward and that was the first time I realized what I was wearing. My white tank top, pink pajama pants, and white fluffy slippers stared back at me. There was an immediate reaction to run home and change, thinking there was no way I could go talk to anyone looking like this. No , I told myself. Adam... you need to find out about Adam .
    I saw a small group of guys huddled together near the doors leading into the operating rooms. All of them were wearing the same grave faces and each of them had on a red mountain rescue jacket. The same jacket that I had seen Adam wearing just a few hours ago. My eyes scanned the group and not one of them noticed me until a short guy in the back met my gaze. Jake or John, I think was his name. Adam had brought me out to the mountain rescue headquarters once and I remembered meeting him. He whispered something under his breath and then, slowly, every guy in the group turned their heads to focus on me. It was at