Fall from Love

that moment I knew that I couldn’t go home and change clothes, I couldn’t run away from what I was about to hear, I couldn’t go anywhere because my legs were frozen and couldn’t move; they actually felt like they were about to give out from beneath me. The looks on their faces said it all and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach with an iron fist, stealing all the air out of my lungs.
    The tallest guy in the group began to walk towards me. His sandy brown hair was disheveled and I immediately saw the sadness in his eyes. I don’t think I blinked the entire time it took him to get to me, which seemed like an eternity, but in reality, was probably just a few seconds. His chocolate brown eyes never left mine, and when he finally came within a few inches of me, he reached out and grabbed my arms lightly. For some reason I flinched and took a step back, not wanting to be touched. Not wanting what was about to come out of his mouth to be real. I still held out hope that this was all just a horrible dream and, by him touching me—feeling the warmth of his skin—it made the dream a reality.
    “You’re Holly, right?” he asked me, his face not able to hide the pain. I could only nod my head. “My name is Carter. Will you come and sit with me?”
    I nodded again, still staring into his chocolate brown eyes that I could now see were outlined in red, like he’d been crying. The front of his jacket was smeared with dirt and it was ripped down the left side.
    My chest felt like it was being crushed and I fought to catch my breath. Oh, God , I thought to myself. I’m already freaking out and he hasn’t even told me anything, yet. Somehow, I’m not even sure how, I knew the moment I got the phone call that Adam was gone, or at least, I had suspected it. Now, after seeing Carter’s face up close, I knew for sure.
    “Holly.” Jenna’s voice pulls me from my memory. When I open my eyes, I still see Carter standing just a few feet from me, his chocolate brown eyes still holding mine. I have to remind myself to breathe. Breaking the focus I have on him, I glance around and see how everyone is staring right at me. I must have dazed out a lot longer than I thought.
    “Let’s go get another beer,” Jenna says, standing up and blocking my view of Carter, breaking the trance he holds on me. Everyone continues to stare as she grabs my hand, pulls me around the fire pit, and towards the back door. I can’t ignore the way she glares over at Josh before we disappear back into the house. She looks pissed and I can’t help but feel horrible for what just happened.
    We walk back down the hall and, the moment we step in the garage, she turns to face me. “God, Holly, I’m so sorry. Josh told me that he wasn’t going to be here tonight. He said that Carter had made plans to go back to his parents’ house in Denver for the weekend. Please don’t hate me.” Her face falls when she’s done talking and I can’t help feeling worse with each passing second. She has no reason to apologize. This is my problem. Iam the one who should be apologizing. I just made a scene out there, embarrassing her in front of her boyfriend and new friends.
    “It’s fine, Jenna.” I blink hard. “Carter lives here, right? He’s allowed to come home.”
    “No, it’s not fine.” She whirls around and jerks open the refrigerator. “I’m gonna kick Josh’s ass for this. I specifically asked him if Carter was going to be here tonight.”
    “Jenna,” I say more firmly, the guilt is rising up in my throat, causing it to feel thick. “I’m fine. I know I can’t avoid him forever.” I try to keep my voice steady. “Especially since my best friend is dating his best friend. I need to deal with this. You shouldn’t be mad at Josh.”
    She still looks pissed as she turns back around and hands me a beer.
    In the back of my mind I know that, if it were possible to avoid him forever, I would. It may be a chicken shit move, but it’s the truth.
    “God, I’m sorry. I haven’t even asked you; are you alright?”
    I glance up at her. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I do think you should go apologize to Josh, though,” I tell her and can’t help smiling at the reaction her face makes at my suggestion.
    “And why the hell would I apologize to him?” She tilts her beer up and takes a long drink.
    “Um, maybe because you just gave him the most evil, crazy, psycho, stare down ever when you pulled me inside the house. Seriously, you