Fangirl

were people always going on and on about the heart? Almost everything Levi happened in Cath’s stomach.
    “Can I stop by?” he asked. Like he wanted it. “Say good night?”
    “Reagan’s here,” Cath said. “She’s in the shower. I think she’s going to bed.”
    “Can you come down?”
    “Where would we go?” Cath asked.
    “We could sit in my truck—”
    “It’s freezing out.”
    “We could run the heater.”
    “The heater doesn’t work.”
    He hesitated—“We could go to my house.”
    “Aren’t your roommates home?” It was like she had a list of arguments, and she was going through them one by one—and she wasn’t even sure why anymore.
    “It doesn’t matter,” Levi pushed. “I have my own room. Plus, they want to meet you.”
    “I think I met most of them at the party.”
    Levi groaned. “How many ground rules did Reagan give us?”
    “I don’t know. Five, maybe? Six?”
    “Okay, here’s seven: No more talking about that godforsaken party unless it’s absolutely relevant.”
    Cath smiled. “But what will I have left to needle you with?”
    “I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”
    “I won’t,” she said. “You’re incessantly good to me.”
    “Come home with me, Cath.” She could hear him smiling. “It’s early, and I don’t want to say good night.”
    “I never want to say good night, but we still manage.”
    “Wait, you don’t?”
    “No,” she whispered.
    “Come home with me,” he whispered back.
    “To your den of iniquity?”
    “Yes, that’s what everyone calls my room.”
    “Gah,” Cath said. “I’ve told you. It’s just too much … your house. Your room. We’ll walk in, and all that will be in there is a bed. And I’ll throw up from nerves.”
    “And desire?”
    “Mostly nerves,” she said.
    “Why is this such a big deal? All your room has in it is a bed.”
    “ Two beds,” she said, “and two desks. And the constant threat of my roommate walking in.”
    “Which is why we should go to my house. Nobody will ever walk in on us.”
    “That’s what makes me nervous.”
    Levi hmmm ed. Like he was thinking. “What if I promise not to touch you?”
    Cath laughed. “Now I have zero incentive to come.”
    “What if I promise to let you touch me first?”
    “Are you kidding? I’m the untrustworthy person in this relationship. I’m all hands.”
    “I’ve seen no evidence of that, Cather.”
    “In my head, I’m all hands.”
    “I want to live in your head.”
    Cath covered her face with her hand, as if he could see her. They didn’t usually flirt quite like this. Quite so frankly. Maybe the phone brought it out in her. Maybe it was this weekend. Everything this weekend.
    “Hey, Cath…” Levi’s voice was so soft. “What exactly are we waiting for?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Did you take an abstinence pledge?”
    She laughed, but still managed to sound affronted. “No.”
    “Is it—” He exhaled quickly, like he was forcing something out.”—is it still about trust? Me earning your trust?”
    Cath’s voice dropped to almost nothing. “God, Levi. No. I trust you.”
    “I’m not even talking about sex,” he said. “I mean … not just sex. We can take that off the table completely if it will make you feel better.”
    “Completely?”
    “Until further discussion. If you knew that I wasn’t pushing for that, if that wasn’t even on the horizon, do you think you could relax and just … let me touch you?”
    “What kind of touching?” she asked.
    “Do you want me to show you on a doll?”
    Cath laughed.
    “Touching,” he said. “I want to touch you. Hold you. I want to sit right next to you, even when there are other options.”
    She took a deep breath. She felt like she owed it to him to keep talking. To at least reciprocate this conversation. “I want to touch you, too.”
    “Yeah?”
    “Yeah,” she said.
    “What kind of touching?” he asked.
    “Did you already give the operator your credit card number?”
    Levi laughed. “Come home with me, Cath. I miss you. And I don’t want to say good night.”
    The door swung open, and Reagan came back into the room wearing a T-shirt and yoga pants, a towel wrapped around her hair.
    “Yeah, okay,” Cath said. “When you will get here?”
    He was obviously grinning. “I’m already downstairs.”
    *   *   *
    Cath put on brown cable-knit leggings and a plaid shirtdress that she’d taken from Wren’s dorm room. Plus knit wristlet thingies