Fangirl

conceded.
    Cath nodded and bent to kiss the spot under his ear. “You’re sure you don’t need to study?”
    “Do you?”
    “No,” she said. “It’s Friday.”
    Levi had just shaved, so his jaw and neck were something extra. Soft plus minty. She ran a hand down the front of his flannel shirt until her fingers caught at the first button—and decided right then to unbutton it.
    Levi inhaled.
    She found the next button.
    When she’d finished with the third, he pulled away from her and yanked the shirt up over his head. The T-shirt came next. Cath looked down at his chest like she’d never seen anything like it before. Like she’d never been to a public swimming pool.
    “You look thinner with your clothes on,” she said with surprise, tracing her fingers over his shoulders.
    He laughed. “Is that a compliment?”
    “It’s a … I didn’t expect you to look so strong.”
    He tried to kiss her, but she leaned back—she wasn’t ready to look away. Levi wasn’t noticeably muscular. Not like Jandro. Not even like Abel. But he was firm and nicely shaped, muscles curving around his shoulders, over his arms, across his chest.
    Cath wanted to go back and rewrite every scene she’d ever written about Baz or Simon’s chests. She’d written them flat and sharp and hard. Levi was all soft motion and breath, curves and warm hollows. Levi’s chest was a living thing.
    “You’re beautiful,” she said.
    “That’s you.”
    “Don’t argue with me. You’re beautiful.”
    *   *   *
    Taking off Levi’s shirt had been such an inspired idea, Cath was thinking about losing her own. Levi was thinking about it, too. He was playing with the hem, sliding his fingers just underneath it while they kissed. Kissed. Cath loved that word. She used it sparingly in her fic, just because it felt so powerful. It felt like kissing to say it. Well done, English language.
    Levi kissed with his jaw and his bottom lip. She hadn’t done this with enough people to know whether that was distinctive, but she felt like it was. He kissed her, and ran his fingers under her hem; and if she just raised her arms now, he’d probably take care of her shirt. She could count on him to pitch in. Cath couldn’t remember what she was waiting for, what she was so scared of.…
    Was she waiting for marriage? At the moment, it was hard to think beyond Levi … whom she was nowhere near marrying. That fact only made her want him more. Because if she didn’t end up marrying Levi, she wouldn’t have lifetime access to his chest and his lips and whatever might be happening in his lap. What if they married other people? She should probably have sex with him now, while she still could.
    Flawed logic , her brain was shouting. Miserably flawed.
    How do you even know when you’re anywhere near marrying someone? she wondered. Is that question about time? Or distance?
    Cath’s phone chimed.
    Levi licked her mouth like he was trying to get the last bit of jam off the back of her throat.
    Her phone chimed again.
    It probably wasn’t important. Wren. Complaining about their dad. Or their dad complaining about Wren. Or one of them being rushed to a hospital …
    Cath pulled away, catching Levi’s hands and trying to catch her breath.
    “Let me check,” she said. “Wren—”
    He nodded and pulled his hands away from her shirt. Cath resisted the urge to slide down his legs like he was a hobby horse. (It would feel good, but she might never recover her dignity.) Instead she climbed drunkenly off him, reaching off the bed for her phone.
    He crawled after her, trying to read over her shoulder.
    Wren. “hey, you should come to omaha. jandro’s here, we’re going dancing later at guaca maya. fun! come!”
    “can’t,” Cath texted back. “levi time. ”
    She threw her phone on the floor, then tried to find her way back to Levi’s lap. But he’d already leaned back against the headboard with his knees up. Lap unavailable.
    She tried to move his knees out of the way, but he wouldn’t let her. He was looking at her like he was still trying to figure out what color her eyes were.
    “Is everything okay?” she asked, kneeling in front of him.
    “Yeah. Everything okay on your end?” He moved his chin toward her phone.
    Cath nodded. “Perfectly.”
    Levi nodded.
    Cath nodded again.
    Then she lifted her arms up over her head.
     
    Agatha wrung her fingers in her cape miserably. (But still prettily. Even Agatha’s tear-stained face was a thing