Fear of Falling

me.
    “They’re good, huh?” he murmured in my ear. I felt his lip brush my earlobe, causing my eyes to close for a moment. Luckily, the bar patrons were busy watching the act and we were left forgotten for the moment.
    “Yeah,” I nodded. I could feel the heat flooding from his body, could smell his signature scent of mint and a spice that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I didn’t know what it was, but I liked it. So much that I wanted it all over me.
    “Yeah, they are,” he remarked, his mouth still close to me. I found myself easing toward him. I didn’t even know what we were talking about.
    “Mmmm hmmm…”
    I wasn’t sure how long we stood there in lust-drenched silence before a customer demanded our attention, but I knew one thing for certain: Whatever it was between Blaine and me, it wasn’t just harmless flirting. At least for me it wasn’t. I wanted him. Badly. And wanting him the way I did would only end in tragedy for us. The realization made me want to rip out my traitorous heart and kick it across the floor.
    “Alright, y’all, give it up for The Takers!” CJ was bellowing into the microphone as the band exited the stage. I had zoned out during their entire performance.
    “Ok, this next act is the hottest, sexiest fucking band I have ever seen. Now, girls in the front, you might want to back up and let the fellas through because—I shit you not—you guys are gonna want a front row viewing of this. Give it up, Dive, for AngelDust!”
    The first thing I noticed was that Angel had changed into what I could only describe as a black, strapless leotard. She paired it with fishnet stockings and hot pink 6-inch heels to match her pink extensions and glammed-out guitar. She looked flawless, and the guys of Dive more than agreed, judging by the raucous cheers.
    Angel didn’t even seem fazed by being on stage nearly naked. She was completely calm as she faced the crowd, her tiny fist in the air, as she began the countdown into the first song. It was a popular choice and one of my favorites, speaking of a crush that can’t quite work up the nerve to come clean to the object of his desire. She enticed the crowd, rolling her hips to the beat and locking eyes with every guy and girl. She knew when to bellow out the notes and when to dip into a feather-light, breathy tone that probably had every guy adjusting themselves.
    I looked over at Blaine, who appeared to be just as enraptured by Angel’s charms. A tiny fragment of my heart cracked. I could never be that bold and brave. I could never be as free and confident as Angel. He’d never look at me while I performed. No one got turned on by a timid field mouse. Angel was a lioness. She ate chicks like me for breakfast. No pun intended, though she would say otherwise.
    By the time AngelDust moved on to their next selection, a song about slutty chicks that ruin good guys, the crowd was eating out of the palm of Angel’s petite hand, and no one was requesting drinks. That’s when I realized just how enthusiastically I was singing along behind the bar.
    “Enjoying yourself?” Blaine asked with an amused grin. He leaned against the bar comfortably like he had been watching me intently for a while.
    I stilled my little dance moves and snapped my mouth shut. “Uh, yeah. Angel is amazing. AngelDust is one the best bands out right now,” I beamed proudly.
    “Well, don’t stop now. I was enjoying the show.”
    “There’s a live concert going on right in front of you,” I said waving towards the stage.
    “Yeah, they’re great,” he nodded. “But I’d rather watch you.”
    I couldn’t stifle the warmth that flooded my belly at his confession. And I didn’t want to. Blaine pushed away from the bar and closed the distance between us. Again his lips were at my ear, sending the delightful shivers of his breath down my neck.
    “Can I ask you something, Kami?” Even with the pounding drumbeats and Angel’s voice flooding the speakers, all I could hear was him. His voice was smooth, level and just above a whisper. Blaine didn’t have to yell over the noise. He had my full, undivided attention. And he knew it too; his question didn’t even warrant an answer.
    “That guy that you kissed earlier…is that your boyfriend?”
    I turned my head to assess his face, but he was too close. So close that his lips brushed against my forehead when he stood up straight. I took a step back, though everything inside me wanted to melt into him.
    “Who, Dom?