Forever Too Far

warm enough.
         I missed Rush. I missed seeing him smile. He wasn’t doing much of that anymore. I had mentioned last night that maybe he needed to give Nan some room to pitch a fit and let her see that he wasn’t going to come running. See how she handled it. He’d gotten frustrated with me.  “She’s threatening to kill herself, Blaire. I can’t ignore that. I don’t believe she’d do it either but I still can’t ignore it. Someone has to give a shit. That someone is me. No one else does.”
        I hadn’t said anything more after that. He didn’t want to listen to me and I didn’t want him to snap at me. It was wearing on me. The whole situation was.
         I was beginning to understand why Harlow hid away. Twice now I’d walked in on Kiro screwing some girl who looked my age. Not a mental picture I wanted. He just did it wherever he pleased. I’d learned to stay the heck away from the game room. That pool table was not used for pool.
         A knock on my door broke into my thoughts and for once I was glad. I didn’t want to think about the distance between me and Rush right now. It made me tense. Harlow stuck her head in the room. “Want to go out to the pool with me? Dad isn’t home so no sexcapades are going on out there,” she said with a shy smile.
         We had also walked out on Kiro naked in the pool with not one but two girls. That had been awkward. He’d laughed so loudly I was sure his neighbors could hear him. Instead of being embarrassed or ashamed of his behavior he thought it was hilarious.
         “Sounds good. I’ll get on my swimsuit and meet you out there,” I told her. Harlow was the only good thing about this place. I was ready to go back to Rosemary and I was ready to have my Rush back instead of this angry uptight one that had taken his place. But I was going to miss Harlow.
         I quickly changed into my swimsuit and pulled on my cover-up on before heading down to the pool. It was an elaborate piece of work. The waterfalls and water fountain in the middle were just the icing. The detail and thought that had been put into this pool made it truly look like something out of an exotic rainforest somewhere. It was soothing just to look at.
         Harlow was sitting on a lounger reading from her ereader when I got down there. I took the seat beside her and stretched out my legs. Today was the warmest day we had had so far. It was eighty degrees. Crazy considering it was two days until December.
         I started to ask Harlow about how they celebrated the holidays when something stopped me.
         The cramping was back. I pulled my knees up and cradled my stomach trying real hard not to cry. I had wanted to tell Rush about this after the last time but before I’d had a chance he’d left with Nan again.
          “Blaire? Are you okay?” Harlow asked from be side me.
          “ I’m not sure,” I replied honestly. A tear slipped through and I hated that she was about to see me like this. I wanted to go home.
          Harlow moved over to sit on the edge of my lounger and studied me. “Are you hurting?” she asked.
         I just nodded. Harlow frowned and glanced around. “Where is Rush?”
         “Gone to check on Nan,” I replied as my stomach cramped up again and I winced.
         Harlow stood up. “I don’t think pregnant women are supposed to wince and cry from pain. We need to go have you checked on. I can drive you to my doctor. He’s a real big fan of Daddy’s so he’ll see you without an appointment. I’ll call his office on our way.”
         I didn’t want to be the one overreacting. So having Harlow do it for me made the decision easier. I nodded and let her take my hand and help me up. “I need to go change clothes first,” I said looking down at the swimsuit and cover up I had just put on.
         “You go change and I will too. Then I’ll go pull my car around to the front entrance. I can call my doctor on our way.”
          “Thank you,” I replied before heading inside and up to Rush’s room. I thought about calling Rush but changed my mind. He already had one female needing him. This m ight be nothing more than gas for all I knew. I would call him if the doctor thought I should. No reason to put more stress on him.
         The little voice in my head whispered what I didn’t want to admit to myself. “You’re afraid you and the baby won’t come first. You don’t