Forever Too Far

Nestled in a satin box was a small note. I picked it up and underneath it was an old swatch of pink satin. It had been well worn and it was obviously cut from something else. I opened the note.
     
    Blaire,
    I’ve waited until today to show this to you. It hasn’t been easy to not say anything about it. But when I was reminded of who your mother was I was also reminded of this piece of satin. I had forgotten where it came from for a long time but I knew it was special so I kept it with me. All the time. Growing up, when I was scared or alone I would hold it in my hands and rub it across my face. It was a secret I wanted no one to know about. But it soothed me. When your father reminded me of the Mickey Mouse pancakes my memories of your mother all came back. With them I remembered the day I got this piece of satin.
         Your mother always wore a pair of pink satin pajamas to bed at night. She would often rock me to sleep because I was difficult to get to calm down long enough to close my eyes. I loved it when she held me. My own mother never did. I would go to sleep at night rubbing my nose across her arm and the pink satin pajamas. The day she left I remember being scared. I didn’t want to be left with Georgianna. Your mother hugged me tightly then tucked this piece of satin cut from her pajamas in my hand and told me to use it at night when I was going to bed.
         I’d love to say this memory came back to me all on my own but it didn’t. I just knew the fabric had to do with the woman who made me pancakes. So, I asked your dad. He told me the story and I realized that the recurring dream I had growing up about the woman in the pink satin pajamas was real. Not a dream.
         It’s mine and you can’t have it (unless you really want it and then it’s yours).
    This is your something borrowed .
    I love you,
    Rush
         “I hope you’re not wearing a lot of makeup ‘cause if you are you just cried half of it off,” Granny Q grumbled.
         I smiled and took the tissue she was holding and wiped my face free of the tear s. I wasn’t wearing much makeup, to Bethy’s dismay. The mascara I had on was waterproof which was a good thing. I touched the satin to my cheek and thought of my sweet momma leaving this for Rush. Then I folded it and tucked it into my strapless bra. I put the note away in the dresser. I wanted to keep that too. Forever.
         “Well, I need to get on downstairs and get in my seat. I’ll see you soon,” Granny Q said and blew me a kiss before she headed out the door.
         I walked over to the mirror to check my makeup when another swift knock came on the door. My dad stepped inside with a smile on his face. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. That’s one lucky man down there. He just better remember it.”
         “Thank you, Daddy,” I replied.
         He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out another small gift box similar to the ones the others had brought in here. “I have something for you from Rush. He wanted to be the one to give you your something blue.”
         I couldn’t keep the silly grin off my face. I had already figured out that was why he was here. Dad handed it to me. “I’ll stay. You’re going to need my help with it.”
          I opened the box , excited about getting something else from Rush. A delicate gold chain that matched the anklet he’d sent me was nestled in the satin. I pulled it out and hanging from it was a teardrop shaped topaz. Beside it was another note.  I took it out quickly and unfolded it.
    Blaire,
         This teardrop represents many things. The tears I know you’ve shed over holding your mother’s piece of satin. The tears you’ve shed over each loss you’ve experienced. But it also represents the tears we’ve both shed as we’ve felt the little life inside you begin to move. The tears I’ve shed over the fact I’ve been given someone like you to love. I never imagined anyone like you Blaire. But every time I think about forever with you I’m humbled that you chose me.
    This is your something blue.
    I love you,
    Rush
     
    I wiped another tear away and laughed. He was right. We’d had both sad and happy tears. I wanted this memory of both on me as we said our vows today.
         My dad took it from my hands and fastened it around my neck. I moved it so that it lay against my chest. I was complete. He’d made sure I had something old, something new,