Frankenstein - According to

the figure of a
man advancing towards me with super-human speed; roughly, I would say he was
doing 150 miles per hour. He bounded over the crevices over which I had walked
with caution. His stature, as he approached, seemed to exceed that of man. I
was troubled: a mist came over my eyes, nose and teeth and I felt a faintness
seize me; but I was quickly restored by a bottle of 1909 brandy. I perceived as
the shape came nearer (sight tremendous and abhorred!) that it was the wretch
whom I had created. [God, he was slow recognising him! Ed.] Argggah! Yes folks,
argggah! I trembled with rage and horror, resolving to wait his approach, and
then close with him in mortal combat [for Christ’s sake, don’t!]. Again, his
trousers were round his ankles.
    ‘Elio,
ave you got a fag?’ he said.
    ‘Devil!’
I exclaimed, ‘do you dare approach me? And do not you fear the fierce vengeance
of my arm?’
    ‘Oh
don’t be like dat, I only want a fag.’
     
    It was the
monster, argggah
    He said, ‘ave
you got a fag?’
    ‘No, I’ve only
got an argggah’
    ‘Alright, I’ll
have an argggah.’
     
    ‘Be
gone, vile insect [Eh?], or rather, stay that I may trample you to dust! And,
oh! that I could, with the extinction of your miserable existence, restore
those victims whom you have so diabolically murdered!
    ‘Oh
steady on, mate, I only done one. Now will you help me with my trousers.’
    My
rage was without bounds; I sprang on him, impelled by all the feelings which
can arm one being against the existence of another. He hurled me 100 feet down
a chasm and then he came down and helped me to my feet.
    ‘Upsy
daisy,’ he said. ‘Remember, thou hast made me more powerful than thyself, my
height is superior to thine, my joints more supple, etc., etc. I could beat the
shit out of you if I wanted. Now have you got a fag?’ ‘Here,’ I said, ‘here is
a packet of twenty. That will be £2 and I sincerely hope you die of lung
cancer.’
     
    I hope you die of cancer
    I will if I can sir
    Personally I don’t give a damn
sir
    I will smoke one hundred fags a
day
    Until the cancer goes away.
     
    So
saying I helped his trousers up.
    ‘Now
remember that I am thy creature; I am thy Adam — but I am better dressed.’
    ‘Begone!
I will not hear you. There can be no community between you and me; we are
enemies.’
    Suddenly
he pulled my trousers down. ‘There, how do you like it?’ he said. ‘Let me turn
up your trousers; one good turn deserves another.’
    ‘I
don’t think it’s a very good turn — if it was, it should be in the music hall.’

CHAPTER III
     
    THE
MONSTER’S TALE
     
     
    ‘It
was with considerable difficulty that I remember the original era of my being.
By degrees, I remember, a stronger light pressed upon my nerves, so that I was
obliged to shut my eyes. I walked over a cliff. By opening my eyes I found
myself at the bottom of a cliff. Then I walked and I sought a place in the
shade. This was the forest near Ingolstadt; and here I lay peacefully by the
side of a brook, resting from my fatigue. A tree fell on me and I felt
tormented by hunger and thirst. I ate some berries which I found hanging on the
trees or lying on the ground. I slaked my thirst at the brook and then, lying
down, I was overcome by sleep during which another tree fell on me. While I was
under it some villagers asked for my autograph. A feeling of pain invaded me on
all sides and I sat down and wept.
    ‘Soon
a gentle light stole over the heavens, and gave me a sensation of pleasure. I
started up and beheld a radiant form rise from among the trees. 3 Of course, it Was the moon! How silly of me not to
recognise it. I was still cold when under the trees I found a huge cloak; it
had a ticket on it, ‘Made in Taiwan’, and I covered myself with it and became
Chinese.
    ‘My
eyes became accustomed to the light and to perceive objects in their right
forms; I could distinguish herbs from animals. I could tell the difference
between a nettle and an elephant. One gave you a sting, the other killed you. I
could tell hot from cold. One day I found a fire which had been left by
wandering beggars and was overcome with delight at the warmth I experienced
from it. In my joy I thrust my hand into the life embers [What a bloody fool!
Ed.]. Food, however, became scarce and I often spent the whole day searching in
vain for a few acorns, sausages or a leg of lamb.

CHAPTER
IV
     
     
     
    ‘I
lay on my straw, but I could not sleep. I didn’t know