From the Heart

impossible, but Kasey saw she meant every word she said. “I was going tomorrow,” she said quietly. “I’m not worth it, Mrs. Taylor.”
    “Today, before Jordan returns. You’re to say nothing of this to him.”
    “Today,” Kasey agreed. There were tears in her voice; she couldn’t prevent them. She struggled to keep them from her eyes. “Today, because I’m capable of something you’re not. Of loving them both enough to give them what they need. Each other.”
    Beatrice turned her back again. “Millicent will have your bags packed by now, and Charles will drive you wherever you’d like to go.” She opened her checkbook. “I’m willing to compensate you for your discretion and for your inconvenience, Miss Wyatt—”
    Kasey’s hand slammed down on the checkbook and cut her off. Beatrice looked up in surprise.
    “Don’t press your luck,” Kasey whispered. “I gave you my word. It’s free.” She lifted her hand slowly and straightened. “There’ll come a time when you’ll have to deal with what you did today. You’ve lost more than I ever had, Mrs. Taylor.”
    She made it out the door, then nearly doubled over with the pain. She needed time, a few moments, to pull herself back together. She still had to see Alison. She wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye to her. Let me find the right words. Kasey moved down the hall like a sleepwalker. Don’t let me cry in front of Alison.
    The sharp flash of pain had left her numb. She reached for the knob of Alison’s door with nerveless fingers.
    “Kasey!” Alison glanced up. The puppy was curled on the bedspread while Alison sat with him plucking at her guitar. “I learned a new song. Shall I play it for you?”
    “Alison.” Kasey came to sit beside her.
    “What’s wrong?” The child’s forehead creased as she studied Kasey. “You look funny.”
    “Alison. You remember I told you that someday I’d have to go.” She saw the look in the child’s eyes and touched her cheek. “It’s someday, Alison.”
    “No.” She set the guitar aside and grabbed Kasey’s hand. “You don’t have to. You could stay.”
    “I explained it to you before. Remember? About my job?”
    “You don’t want to stay?” The tears were starting. Kasey felt a moment of panic.
    “Alison, it’s not a matter of wanting. I can’t.”
    “You could. You could if you wanted to.”
    “Alison, look at me.” Kasey was on the edge and knew it. But there was no leaving her this way. “Sometimes people can’t do exactly what they want. I love you, Alison, but I have to go.”
    “What will I do?” It was almost a wail as she threw her arms around Kasey’s neck.
    “You have Jordan. And I’ll write you, I promise. Maybe in the summer you can visit. Like we talked about before.”
    “The summer’s months and months away.”
    Kasey hugged her tight, then drew her back. “Sometimes time goes quickly.” She slipped the gold band from her finger and pressed it into Alison’s hand. “This is for you. Whenever you think I don’t love you anymore, you can look at it and remember I do.” Rising, she walked to the doorway. The pain was festering, and her time was running out.
    “Alison . . .” She turned back with her hand on the knob. “Tell Jordan I . . .” She shook her head and opened the door. “Just take care of him for me.”
     
    There was only one small light on in her hotel room, but even that hurt her eyes. Kasey couldn’t summon the energy to walk over and switch it off. The weeping had drained her, left her sick and empty. She could hear the sounds of celebration from other rooms.
    It was nearly midnight.
    I should be with him now, Kasey thought. I should have had this one last night. What did he think when he came back and found me gone? Gone without a word. He’ll never understand. He can’t ever understand, she reminded herself. Will he be hurt or just angry? She shook her head. It was no use speculating. It was over.
    She heard the rattle of a key and turned. When Jordan walked in, she said nothing. Her thoughts were drowned in pain and shock.
    “You should use a chain when you want to shut someone out, Kasey.” He tossed the key onto a table. “Keys are easy enough to come by. Twenty dollars and a good story buys one. You know all about good stories.”
    She sat exactly where she was. Beatrice’s threat cut off her impulse to run into his arms. “How did you find me?”
    “Charles.” He turned and fastened on the chain.