Ghost Time

suddenly realizing how dumb I sounded.
    Cam walked in then, holding two glasses of something with bubbles, and I wanted to run out of the house. Oh, look at that, she said, looking at the picture, really looking at it, and then looking up at me, like she was looking to see if I’d really drawn it, myself, and then looking at the picture again. Thea, this is somuch better than real flowers, she said. And I love real flowers, don’t get me wrong, but this is just beautiful. Thank you, she said, beaming, showing it to Cam. And then he looked at me, looked at his mom again, and then handed me my drink, smiling.
    Cam told me you’re very talented, she said, smiling, still looking at the picture. Thank you, I said, taking a sip of my drink. Cherry seltzer. Made me burp, but I hid it. Cam, go grab the box, will you? Karen asked, taking the drink from him. Cam stepped out of the room and returned with a big cardboard box, setting it down by me. We saved a few things for you, things Cam said you might want. So take a look, Karen said, please. I peeked inside the box, and I saw right away: it was a Super 8 camera and a box of film, and I pulled it out, no idea what to say.
    You like it? Cam said, and I nodded yes, yes! I’ve always wanted a Super 8, I said, totally blown away that she was giving it to me, and Karen smiled. Well, just so you know, there are a couple pieces missing, but I’m sure anyone with an Internet connection could track them down with a little effort, she said, but looking at Cam, not me. If you want to keep it, I said, thinking maybe Cam had been eyeing the camera for himself, but then he shook his head. No, he said, I want you to have it—even if it doesn’t work. Yet , Karen said, winking at me, before excusing herself, leaving us alone.
    Go on: check it out, Cam said, handing me the camera, and I looked through the lens, turning to him, wishing it worked and had film. When’s your birthday? he said, and I lowered the camera. June, I said, biting the inside of my lip, and he said, June what? And I said, June 16. Ah-ha, he said, curling his tonguebetween this teeth. It’s your sweet sixteen, right? he said, and I said, Why do you ask? And he shrugged, I don’t know, it’s just that we don’t buy gifts in my family; birthdays, Christmas, you have to make something. So I was thinking maybe I’d fix this for you for your birthday. We’ll see, I said, raising my brow, trying to act all cool, but all I could do was stare at my feet, kicking the heel of my Converse against the toe of my other shoe.
    What, Cam said, you don’t believe me? Fifty bucks—no, make it a hundred—a hundred bucks, he said, making me a bet. I said, A hundred bucks, what? And he said, A hundred bucks says I’ll get this thing working and give it back to you for your sixteenth birthday. If you’re nice, maybe I’ll even throw in a projector, he said, and I couldn’t help smiling—couldn’t even look at him, that bitter feeling in my cheeks. Still staring at my feet, a voice in my head started screeching, Please don’t make me any promises you can’t keep, Cam, because it’d break my heart , and I think he saw it, too, because then he reached for my hand. He took my left hand in his and he shook my hand, looking me in the eye, shaking on it. Deal? he asked, and I smiled: Deal, I said.
    He let go and then he handed the camera back to me, Hold that for a sec, will you? he said, getting up and heading for the kitchen, and I got up to follow. Standing there, in the doorway, watching them together, I knew I’d always remember the day I met Karen for the first time, looking at the two of them through the lens of a Super 8 camera.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1, 2011
    (EIGHT WEEKS LATER)
    10:19 AM
    The lawyers came over to tell us there was some film company making a made-for-TV movie about my life. I guess they’re saying it was based on a true story, and they weren’t saying it was me, but it was obvious it was me: When an upstate New York girl’s boyfriend disappears, her life is turned upside down. That’s the description, okay: tell me that’s not me. Even better, they sold the deal for more than half a million dollars, and now they’re getting some big actress to play the role of this mysterious upstate girl, and when Mom told me that, I couldn’t even ask who was going to play the me they weren’t saying is me.
    Mom said the lawyers said it was happening, whether we liked it or not, and there was only so much they