Ghost Time

again, same song, and then I was like, Oh, shit , because it sounded like it was coming from my phone, beneath my desk. I reached for it, thinking someone must’ve put my bag on top of their phone, but when I pulled my bag over, it was my phone. I reached inside my bag, trying not to let Jenssen see, and I felt it in my hands, ringing—I didn’t know what to say, because that’s not my ringtone—I swear , that is not my ringtone.
    I mean, yes, it was my phone, but I’m telling you, my ringtone is the Cramps’ “Goo Goo Muck.” I just changed it last weekend—it’s another inside joke—it’s this shirt of Cam’s, see. Cam has this old shirt, and because it’s so shrunk now, he’s been letting me wear his dad’s old Cramps Bad Music For Bad People T-shirt: so fucking cool. Before that ringtone, I had the Ting Tings’ “That’s Not My Name”—still love that song. And before that, it was “Black Balloon” by the Kills: love. And before the Kills, I had Bowie’s “Life on Mars?” for ages, because it was my theme song, but anyhow.
    I spaced out for a few seconds, thinking about that, and then Jenssen goes, Miss Denny, give it to me: here, holding out his hand, so I gave him my phone, and he turned it off before he put it in his desk drawer and went back to the board. I heard one of the guys in the back of the room make some sort of joke, and I was so embarrassed. And a minute later, there was this guitar riff, coming from the front of the room. Jenssen turns around with this look, like, not again, and says, What is that? And Ricky Meyers—he’s such a goof, he goes, I think it’s Bauhaus, and everyone starts laughing. No, Ricky’s not a goof. What I mean is goofs are the kids who try to be class clowns or whatever, and doofs, they don’t try. Ricky doesn’t have to try, that’s what I’m saying.
    Anyhow, Jenssen goes, Who now?, and his neck started turning red, so I said, I think it’s my phone. In your desk. We all watched him, too—everyone saw Jenssen turn it on and turn it off. So he took my phone out of his desk and turned it on, waiting, then he turned it off and went back to the board. A minute later, it happened again: Bauhaus. But this time, it was loud, like, really loud. Maybe it’s broken? one of the guys said. I think it was Josh Bolton. I don’t know who said it, but then Mr. Jenssen curled his finger at me, saying, Thea, please take your phone to the office.
    So I grabbed my bag and took my phone and I walked out. I started heading for the office, down the main hall. It’s this longhall with a glass case that runs the whole length, with all the statues the school has ever won. It’s crazy, because the school was built in the fifties, the main building, at least, so there are photos that go back to the days of black-and-white, like ghosts of teenagers past. I was looking at some of their faces, and all of sudden, I heard this… it was a chorus of cell phones. Rounds—that’s what it’s called, like when you sing, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” in rounds. Except that every face I passed in the glass case, a phone went off with the exact same ringtone, all playing “Bela Lugosi’s Dead.” You know how the bass line goes, Doo… doo… dooooooo , right? Like how it sounds all sinister, with that Goth snare echoing, and I was just like, What the fuck is going on? By the time I got halfway down the hall, it was so loud, I felt like if I turned around, it would pull me under, like an avalanche coming straight for me.
    I don’t know why, but I broke out laughing, giggling, thinking, Ohmygod, it’s going to get me! Bela Lugosi’s going to get me! And then I just took off, running for the principal’s office, like I was running for my life. I couldn’t even hear my footsteps on the linoleum, that’s how loud it was, and I don’t know why, but I started screaming—I’m running and laughing and screaming, and even then, you couldn’t hear my voice over the music. I got to the office, I had to stop and lean over to catch my breath, and before I opened the door, I turned around, and I swear—I swear, this gust of wind blew my hair, and I stumbled, getting knocked over by it, like a wave. I know it sounds crazy, because it was, but after the wave passed, a second later, every cell phone stopped. Dead silence for five seconds, and then the fire alarmswent off, and then you could hear people going crazy, every room in the entire school, everyone just lost it.
    On