Gingerbread Man

not an answer."
    She closed her eyes. "What do you want me to say? I can lie to you and tell you that I'm rock solid here, but what would that accomplish? I can tell you the truth and watch that look come into your eyes again. But I don't want to see it Vince. Not now."
    "What look?"
    "The one that tells me you can't wait to get the hell away from me."
    "You've got it all wrong, Red."
    "Do I? Fine. I'll tell you how I'm holding up, and then we'll see. I'm sick inside. I'm wide awake and tense as hell, and I know, every part of me knows, that if I go to sleep tonight—or maybe any night ever again—the nightmares will come. If I lower my guard for as much as a second, even enough to take a deep breath, my heart's gonna start pounding like a racehorse in the homestretch, and I won't be able to breathe. My darkness is squatting like a demon, right around the next corner, lurking in every shadow, just waiting for me to slip. And when I do it's gonna grab me, Vince, and I don't know if I can fight my way free the next time it does. I really don't." She paused, looking back toward the hospital room she'd just left, and the one beside it, taking a breath. "The only thing keeping me from curling into the fetal position, in a corner somewhere, is knowing that Amanda needs me, and my mother needs me, and Bethany needs me. And all of the sudden I get it. I totally get why you don't want that burden of being needed put on you. I get it, Vince, because I'm scared to death I'm going to let them down. The way I let my sister down."
    He didn't say anything for a long time. Didn't touch her. Just stood there, looking at her until she forced herself to lift her head and look back. She expected to see pity in his eyes. The kind of pity you feel when you pass a homeless person talking to herself on the streets in a big city. But she didn't see anything like that.
    "I got news for you, Holly Newman. I need you, too."
    She sucked in a breath, wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean.
    "You are one of the strongest people I've ever met. And you
can
fight your demons. And you
will
win."
    "That's bullshit and you know it."
    A muted, cotton muffled voice came over the P.A. system. "Detective O'Mally to the E.R. Detective O'Mally to the E.R."
    He lifted a hand, stroked her hair. "You're doing great. Stay here, keep Amanda company, see to your mother. Hang tough just a little longer. I have a feeling things are gonna be all right this time, Red. I really do."
    She shook her head. "I'm gonna lose it and you're gonna walk away. Bethany's either going to be scarred for the rest of her life, or die in the next day or so. I don't see anything all right about any of this."
    Doc Graycloud came out of the room, cleared his throat. "Detective, I need a word with you."
    "Walk with me down to the E.R. then," Vince told him. He kept his eyes riveted on Holly. "I'll be back up later on. As soon as I can. Wait for me. We really do need to talk."
    She nodded, but turned away. She didn't watch him go. She felt his eyes on her though, as he left with Doc. She felt them on her until she heard the elevator doors slide closed, and the soft ping of its bell.
    Holly went back into the room, and saw Amanda on her feet, putting on her coat
    "What are you doing?"
    "We have to get out of here," Amanda said. "I'll never remember anything here, and they aren't going to leave me alone. Dr. Graycloud will order meds. The nurses will be in with them soon. Will you help me, Holly? Will you help me go to where I can remember?"
    Holding the other woman's gaze, Holly nodded. "You're damn right I will."

NINETEEN
----

    "DID YOU GET a blood sample from Amanda?" Vince asked, as he and Dr. Graycloud rode the elevator down two levels.
    "Yes, though I can't imagine why you need it. Reggie has already admitted to you that she's not a blood relative."
    "Yeah, well that begs the question of just who the hell she
is,
then, doesn't it?"
    The doctor grunted as the doors opened, and they headed down the hall toward the E.R. Halfway there, Chief Mallory met them, Selkirk on his heels. "They're ready to move Reggie to a regular room. I think you should be there when they go in to question him, but Selkirk and his cohorts disagree."
    "It's our case now," Selkirk said. "O'Mally has no jurisdiction."
    "Well I do." The aging doctor straightened to his full height and looked Selkirk right in the eye. "And I don't want you or your men anywhere near him until I give the okay. Good God, if