Gone Girl

as it turned out, was Rebecca. She had a ready credit card and a hollow leg. ( Another? Another? Another? ) She was from Muscatine, Iowa (another Mississippi River town), and had moved to New York after undergrad to be a writer (also like me). She’d been an editorial assistant at three different magazines – a bridal magazine, a working-mom magazine, a teen-girl magazine – all of which had shuttered in the past few years, so she was now working for a crime blog called Whodunnit, and she was (giggle) in town to try to get an interview with me. Hell, I had to love her hungry-kid chutzpah: Just fly me to Carthage – the major networks haven’t gotten him, but I’m sure I can!
    ‘I’ve been waiting outside your house with the rest of the world, and then at the police station, and then I decided I needed a drink. And here you walk in. It’s just too perfect. Too weird, right?’ she said. She had little gold hoop earrings that she kept playing with, her hair tucked behind her ears.
    ‘I should go,’ I said. My words were sticky around the edges, the beginnings of a slur.
    ‘But you never told me why you’re here,’ Rebecca said. ‘I have to say, it takes a lot of courage, I think, for you to head out without a friend or some sort of backup. I bet you get a lot of shitty looks.’
    I shrugged: No big deal .
    ‘People judging everything you do without even knowing you. Like you with the cell phone photo at the park. I mean, you were probably like me: You were raised to be polite. But no one wants the real story. They just want to … gotcha . You know?’
    ‘I’m just tired of people judging me because I fit into a certain mold.’
    She raised her eyebrows; her earrings jittered.
    I thought of Amy sitting in her mystery control center, wherever the fuck she was, judging me from every angle, finding me wanting even from afar. Was there anything she could see that would make her call off this madness?
    I went on, ‘I mean, people think we were in a rocky marriage, but actually, right before she disappeared, she put together a treasure hunt for me.’
    Amy would want one of two things: for me to learn my lesson and fry like the bad boy I was; or for me to learn my lesson and love her the way she deserved and be a good, obedient, chastised, dickless little boy.
    ‘This wonderful treasure hunt.’ I smiled. Rebecca shook her head with a little-V frown. ‘My wife, she always did a treasure hunt for our anniversary. One clue leads to a special place where I find the next clue, and so on. Amy …’ I tried to get my eyes to fill, settled for wiping them. The clock above the door read 12:37 a.m. ‘Before she went missing, she hid all the clues. For this year.’
    ‘Before she disappeared on your anniversary.’
    ‘And it’s been all that’s kept me together. It made me feel closer to her.’
    Rebecca pulled out a Flip camera. ‘Let me interview you. On camera.’
    ‘Bad idea.’
    ‘I’ll give it context,’ she said. ‘That’s exactly what you need, Nick, I swear. Context. You need it bad. Come on, just a few words.’
    I shook my head. ‘Too dangerous.’
    ‘Say what you just said. I’m serious, Nick. I’m the opposite of Ellen Abbott. The anti–Ellen Abbott. You need me in your life.’ She held up the camera, its tiny red light eyeing me.
    ‘Seriously, turn it off.’
    ‘Help a girl out. I get the Nick Dunne interview? My career ismade. You’ve done your good deed for the year. Pleeease? No harm, Nick, one minute. Just one minute. I swear I will only make you look good.’
    She motioned to a nearby booth where we’d be tucked out of view of any gawkers. I nodded and we resettled, that little red light aimed at me the whole time.
    ‘What do you want to know?’ I asked.
    ‘Tell me about the treasure hunt. It sounds romantic. Like, quirky, awesome, romantic.’
    Take control of the story, Nick . For both the capital-P public and the capital-C wife. Right now , I thought, I am a man who loves his wife and will find her. I am a man who loves his wife, and I am the good guy. I am the one to root for. I am a man who isn’t perfect, but my wife is, and I will be very, very obedient from now on .
    I could do this more easily than feign sadness. Like I said, I can operate in sunlight. Still, I felt my throat tighten as I got ready to say the words.
    ‘My wife, she just happens to be the coolest girl I’ve ever met. How many guys can say that? I married the coolest girl I ever met