Hammered

Jesus, and I’m still following through. The way I add it up, the consequences will be dire if I don’t. What have you got to add to that? «
    » I’m not privy to your conversation with the Christian god. But I have foreseen your death in a vision. «
    I had to stop. You can’t keep walking casually when someone says they have foreseen your death. » Here or on earth? «
    » On earth. «
    I frowned. » Aren’t you supposed to have my back there? «
    The red in her eyes faded. » Yes. But I foresaw your death anyway. It was … unsettling. «
    I’ll say. What had she been doing in that scenario?
    » Well, I promise to be extra paranoid when I go and super turbo paranoid when I get back. But I’m going, Morrigan. «
    » I know you will go. I simply want to minimize the impact you will have. «
    » Impact on what? «
    She chose to ignore that question. Instead, she stepped closer to me and waited for my eyes to meet hers. » Siodhachan, some of the Valkyries … « Her mouth twisted and she broke eye contact as she searched for words. She couldn’t say they were her friends. » … I know them, « she finished.
    » Well, that may be. But every one of them tried to choose me for death, and then I made them look stupid and ineffective. If we meet again, they’re not going to want to do Jell-O shots off my tummy, you know? «
    » I can imagine their anger at you, « the Morrgian said. » And I know better than most that you cannot promise me anything about a battle. I have merely come to advise you that this is a situation where fulfilling the letter of your oath would be wiser than fulfilling the spirit or intent. «
    I smiled wryly at her. » Don’t you find that to be wise in every situation? «
    » I often do, yes. «
    » That is a difference between us. « Something the Morrigan said earlier came back to gnaw at me. » Did you say you saw my death in a vision? «
    » It was a lucid dream, yes. Not an augury or casting of the wands. It happens sometimes. «
    » Any of those ever wind up not coming true? «
    » No. « Her lips pressed tightly together and she would not look at me.
    » And you’re sure it was me, not some other handsome rake with a faerie sword? «
    » There aren’t many faerie swords around. Or red-haired Druids wielding them. I’m positive. «
    » Ah, well then. I’ve had a pretty good run, whenever it comes—don’t you think? It would be ungracious of me to complain. « I wasn’t going to ask her precisely when, where, or how I was going to die. I didn’t want to know, and she might not have the answers. I sighed and watched my breath crystallize in the dark. » Say, do you ever go up to people and tell them, › Congratulations! This is going to be an awesome year for you in many ways, but especially because you won’t die this year’? «
    » No, « the Morrigan said, » that never occurred to me. It seems frivolous. «
    » You might enjoy it. People might take a liking to you. Especially if you shag them afterward and they know that they’re going to survive the encounter. «
    The Morrigan chuckled. » Are you trying to hint that you would like to enjoy my favors, Atticus? «
    » Oh, no, « I said with a snort, trying to keep my tone light when I was actually terrified by the prospect. The Morrigan is stunningly beautiful, but she makes love the way linebackers love quarterbacks: The last time I’d » enjoyed her favors, « Oberon thought I’d been on the losing side of a street fight. » I cannot spend myself now if I’m going to battle shortly. And, besides, I have an alliance to make with the frost giants. How’s the amulet coming? « I asked, to get her off the subject completely.
    » Slowly, but I believe some progress is being made. I’ve found an iron elemental who will speak to me. I gave it three faeries to eat, and I think it might answer me more quickly the next time I call it. «
    » That’s excellent, keep it up, « I said.
    The Morrigan purred with the praise and stepped close to kiss me farewell. She yelped when she pressed against my chest. » You’re bloody cold! « she said.
    » And you’re not? You’re standing bare-assed in the snow and you’re telling me you’re all warm and toasty? «
    » Raise your core temperature, you fool! «
    » Oh. « I nodded as if I knew what she was talking about, but she kept staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to obey her command. So I was forced to say, » Um, how do you do that? «
    She slapped me across the