Hammered

markedly graceless fashion, propelled by Zhang’s kickoff. Unable to windmill his arms for balance, the giant roared his frustration all the way down and crunched loudly (and wetly) into the snow.
    I looked at Leif. » If we hadn’t been here, would he have made a sound? « Leif snorted once in amusement but made no reply.
    Back to Mandarin. » Master Zhang, I am assuming, since he can obviously make noise, that he still has the ability to speak? «
    Zhang Guo Lao nodded once. Together we walked through the snow to the frost giant’s head.
    » Please forgive us for this small demonstration of our power, « I told the Jötunn. » I assure you that no permanent damage has been done and we will release you shortly. May I have your name, old one? «
    » I am Suttung, « the giant growled. » Release me from this foul magic now! «
    » Not before we have your pledge to offer us no violence and take us to Hrym. «
    » You tricked me! « He thrashed about in the snow, trying to get up but finding it impossible to do with only his legs. I let him give it a good try, then spoke again when he subsided in angry frustration.
    » I disagree. We told you we know how to bring down the Æsir, and you refused to believe. It was quicker to show you rather than simply tell you. May I have your assurance of safe conduct? «
    » Graah. I suppose I must give it, or else I will lie here like dead wood. «
    » And you will take us to Hrym? «
    » Yes. He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out in the snow. «
    » Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir. I would not call that safe conduct. Still, I suppose you cannot speak for Hrym. Master Zhang, he has given his word. Please release him. « I said that in Old Norse for Suttung’s benefit, then repeated the last sentence in Mandarin. Zhang nimbly flipped himself onto the Jötunn’s chest and poked him again in various places. After the last one, Suttung’s arms spasmed and he slammed them forcefully into the snow, levering himself to a sitting position. Zhang performed some acrobatics to get out of the way and nailed another perfect dismount.
    Suttung stood and spent a few moments reassuring himself that everything worked the way it had before. When he was satisfied, he examined Zhang more closely, trying to spot what he’d missed earlier—that this seemingly frail old man was truly quite dangerous. He likewise favored us all with suspicious glares—frosty, of course—wondering what powers we might possess that could destroy the Æsir.
    » Graah. Follow, « he finally said, and turned east, dragging his massive feet to plow a trail through the snow for us.
    The village of the frost Jötnar was two hours’ march through the biting cold. My jeans and leather jacket were not up to handling it, to say nothing of my sandals, so I was forced to beg a blanket and snowshoes from Väinämöinen, who gave them to me with an expression that clearly said he thought I was a dumbass. Chilblains I could heal; it was frostbite I worried about. The other members of the party seemed acquainted with such cold—or at least better prepared for it.
    Perun walked beside me and thumped his chest, which was covered in matted curls. He wore a fur cloak, but his thin shirt was open in front and his personal fur was on prominent display. » You see? Hair is good for place like this. Is stupid to shave. «
    » Would you give the same advice to a woman? « I asked.
    » Of course! Hairy woman is good. Give me beefy, hairy women. «
    » I’m fresh out. But, hey, you know, that sounds like a spectacular band name. Beefy Hairy Women. Think of the logo and merchandising possibilities. Could be trendsetting. «
    Perun looked distressed. » We should speak Russian. I not know what you mean. « We switched to Russian and chatted amiably in Suttung’s wake. Perun was excited about the possibility of seeing the giantesses, who might indeed be both beefy and hairy. I deduced from this that he had not enjoyed an amorous encounter for some good while.
    The frost Jötnar did not live in caves or primitive huts but rather in solid blocks of carved ice insulated with snow. In some cases, the snow was hardpacked and carved into attractive patterns around the windows and along the bases. They had steep roofs and chimneys and very tall doors.
    There were no heaps of human bones in the street or evidence that the giants regularly shat in the snow. The