Hammered

squirrel, Ratatosk. «
    » Also true. It is why Hugin and Munin have been so active recently. They are looking for me. «
    » Graah. Those cursed ravens always hound me. They know I will lead the frost Jötnar to the final battle. «
    » Have you thought that the final battle may not occur as foretold anymore, now that the Norns are dead? «
    The Jötnar all looked at one another to see if any of them had thought of this. It was clear they hadn’t.
    » The prophecy can outlive the prophet and still come true, « Hrym finally said.
    » Graah, « the Jötnar chorused in agreement, nodding their heads at Hrym’s nugget of wisdom. A few of their beardcicles snapped off at this unexpected activity.
    » Sleipnir is dead as well, « I said. » Does that not change the outcome of Ragnarok? «
    » No, « Hrym replied. » In some tales Odin rides Sleipnir to confront the wolf Fenris. In others he does not. Nothing is changed. «
    » But without the Norns to spin their fate, the lives—and deaths—of the Æsir can be changed. We can change the outcome now. «
    » You wish to begin Ragnarok now? «
    » No. We wish to bring justice to Thor for his many crimes against humanity and the Jötnar. We ask for your aid in this. «
    » Why should we help you? «
    » You will remove your oldest enemy. «
    » Jörmungandr will remove him for us, « Hrym said. » All we must do is wait. «
    » For how long? The frost Jötnar need not cower any longer in Jötunheim. Help us slay Thor, and the spoils of Asgard will be yours to take. The goddess Freyja, for example, will be among the spoils. «
    » Freyja! « Suttung exclaimed. All the male frost giants took up the name in a sort of horny echo. It was like walking into a nerd party and shouting, » Tricia Helfer! « or » Katee Sackhoff! « I checked their auras again and the males were turning red with arousal. The women were rolling their eyes and trying not to vomit. It let me know that their auras could be read reliably like human ones.
    » There are other gods to contend with before that can happen, « Hrym pointed out, justifiably so. » Freyja will not fight without her twin, Freyr, in attendance. If Thor goes to fight, Týr will probably tag along. Heimdall, maybe Odin himself, will oppose us, to say nothing of the Valkyries and the Einherjar. We are a mighty people, but we have learned the hard way that we cannot face the combined might of Asgard alone. «
    » Excellent points. Allow me to remind you that you won’t be alone—you’ll have us—and the Einherjar should not be a problem. We’re going to show up on the opposite side of the plane from them. You cause lots of freezing and suffering as soon as we get there, and the Æsir will send out those who can respond the fastest—which means those who can fly, right? So we can expect Thor, Freyr, Odin and the Valkyries, and anybody else who can hitch a ride with them. They can’t bring all the Einherjar with them. We strike fast, kill Thor, and take Freyja, then leave. The Æsir will be crippled and— «
    » Graah! « Hrym broke in. » How can you prevail against Thor? His thunderbolts will destroy us all. «
    » Oh. Perhaps you have not had time to be introduced to our companions. We have our own thunder god. « I turned to Perun and asked him quickly in Russian to produce more of his fulgurites. » This is Perun, « I said to Hrym. » With his help, Thor’s primary weapon will be neutralized. The Æsir are unlikely to have similar protection, because they’ve never had to deal with it before. Our attacks will be unlike anything they have seen or prepared for. None of your people can be struck down by cowardly attacks from the air. If the Æsir are to defeat you, they must do so by force of arms, and surely the people of Hrym can acquit themselves well in battle. «
    » Beware of tricks, Hrym, « one of the females said. » This could be a snare to draw you into the Æsir’s clutches. «
    » See for yourself, lady, that I speak truth. Here, « I said, tossing her my fulgurite. She caught it and regarded it quizzically; she had probably never seen sand before. I signaled to Perun to let her have it and held my breath. I wasn’t sure that Perun’s powers would work here on the Norse plane—but they did. A lightning bolt struck the giantess, and the frost Jötnar dove for cover. » Graah! « they shouted.
    But then they looked back at the woman and saw that she was laughing at them, completely unharmed.
    » You see,