Idiopathy

Do you need to freshen up at all? How was your journey? Are you tired? Thirsty? You must need a drink. What are you drinking?’
    ‘It’s fine,’ said Nathan. ‘I’m fine. Maybe a beer?’
    ‘Of course.’ Daniel pointed at Nathan as if he’d just given the correct answer in class. ‘Sit. I’ll get it.’
    Nathan ignored the instruction and followed Daniel. He was afraid of sitting, for some reason. He liked the idea of them standing somewhere for a while, perhaps propped against a worktop or leaning on the backs of chairs. He wished Daniel would put some music on.
    They wandered through to a dining area. The table, to Nathan’s relief, was not set for dinner. The kitchen, half-visible through an archway, was long and narrow and brightly lit by a variety of chrome spotlights, all angled in such a fashion as to make their illumination feel inescapable. Daniel reached into a stylish fridge with rounded corners and came out with two bottles of Pilsner.
    ‘Let’s get started, eh?’ he said.
    Nathan smiled. They touched bottles.
    ‘Good to see you,’ said Daniel.
    ‘Good to be here,’ said Nathan, at which point Daniel’s smile went fractionally awry.

    ‘A nd then she left me,’ said the taxi driver morosely. ‘Just like that. Moved in with him next door.’
    ‘Really,’ said Katherine, staring determinedly out the window in a way she hoped would make him stop talking.
    ‘I can hear them having sex,’ he went on. ‘I’m working triple shifts just to avoid being home.’
    ‘Unbelievable.’
    ‘It’s so lonely, you know?’
    ‘Mmhmm.’
    ‘What about you? You attached?’
    Katherine gave him a long, steady look. ‘I get embarrassed when other people embarrass themselves,’ she said.
    A blank look crossed the driver’s face.
    ‘My name’s Al,’ he said.
    ‘That’s lovely, Al.’
    ‘Bit of a one, aren’t you?’
    Katherine lit a cigarette and rolled down her window. ‘You have no idea,’ she said.
    ‘You can’t smoke in here,’ said Al.
    ‘I won’t tell if you don’t,’ said Katherine.
    Al looked nervous. Making people nervous made Katherine less nervous. She had entered the stage of spirit-based intoxication that masquerades as absolute sobriety. She met her gaze in the rear-view mirror and knew without question that she was a motherfucking force to be reckoned with.
    ‘How far down do you want?’ said Al.
    ‘Probably however far down the number is,’ said Katherine, launching her cigarette out the window.
    ‘Yeah,’ said Al. ‘Course.’
    What was going to happen, thought Katherine, was that Daniel was very definitely going to say something to annoy her, and then she would very definitely destroy him. She went through a list of all the possible things he might say and do, and the more she went over them the more likely they looked. She would not get angry, she thought. She would be icy-calm and devastate with precision.
    ‘Do you go out much?’ said Al.
    Katherine stared at him until he ran the back of his hand across his brow.
    ‘I try and get out,’ he said, pressing on.
    ‘Tell me, Al,’ said Katherine. ‘What would you do if I told you to pull the car over right now and fuck me?’
    Al failed to slow for a speedbump. They bounced twice in their seats.
    Al said, ‘Y …’
    ‘This is me,’ said Katherine, infinitely revived.
    ‘What?’
    ‘This is where I’m going. The house. The number.’
    Al stopped the car.
    ‘What do I owe you?’ said Katherine.
    ‘Six,’ said Al.
    ‘Call it five,’ said Katherine, slinging him a grubby fiver and slamming the door behind her.

    D aniel wasn’t sure what he should be saying to Nathan and so had been reduced to a series of pre-verbal sounds meant to communicate pleasure, nostalgia, comfort and warmth. He took a swig of beer and said,
Mmmmmmmhhmhmhmhm
. He stretched his arms above his head and said,
Aaaaahhhhhhhhmmmmmmuuuuuhhhhhhhhh
. He nodded, and his nods bore no relation to anything that had occurred or been said, primarily because nothing had been said. He kept trying to sneak a peek at Nathan when Nathan was distracted, but since absolutely nothing was happening to distract him this was proving difficult. Disconcertingly, Nathan still had his coat on, although he had removed his gloves and Daniel had managed neither to turn up his nose nor comment on the state of his hands. They looked burnt, Daniel thought. Had he tried to kill himself with something hot? Was that an accepted suicide method? Christ,