If I Tell

else.”
    He curled up his lip in a sexy half grin, tugging on the grass hanging out of the corner of his mouth. “You know, Jaz. I told you I’m good at keeping secrets if you need to talk. I have a few of my own. We could do a swap. Kind of like exchanging blood. Only less painful. And more sanitary.”
    I wanted to know his secrets so badly that I bit the blade in half to keep from asking. I tasted grass and spit it out and then shook my head.
    “Well, keep it in mind. The deal stands.” He sat up straighter. “You working tonight?”
    “Nope.” I tried not to show disappointment at the topic change. I wanted to know more about what he hid from the world. Like maybe his dealing? I wanted to ask him if he still did it. I wanted to tell him to stop. That it worried me.
    “Too bad,” he said.
    My heart pattered a little more. I studied his features. His slightly crooked, thin nose. I wondered if he’d broken it. Maybe at juvie? I didn’t want him to go back there or, worse, to jail.
    “I don’t work Wednesdays,” I told him instead of begging him to stay out of trouble. “My grandma signed me up to do volunteer work.”
    “That right?”
    I nodded.
    “I totally see you as the volunteer type. Candy striper? Short little skirt with extra-high heels?” He grinned at the preposterous image.
    I burst out laughing. “Not quite.”
    “So what are you doing then? Feeding the hungry? Saving the environment?”
    “Jaz?” A voice interrupted us.
    We both turned. Ashley stood close by. She was staring down at us, her eyebrows raised slightly. I’d been so wrapped up in my conversation with Jackson that I hadn’t even heard her approach.
    She smiled. Today her hair tips were dyed neon yellow. She adjusted her glasses and lifted her hand in greeting.
    “Hey, Ashley,” I said. “You know Jackson, right?”
    Ashley lifted her hand again. “I know who he is, but we don’t have classes together. We’ve never officially met. You work with Jaz, right?”
    “You mean she doesn’t talk about me? I’m crushed.” Jackson grinned at her playfully. “So you’re the famous lesbian of the school.”
    “And you’re the juvenile delinquent,” Ashley shot back.
    “Touché,” he said and tilted an invisible hat.
    I stood, wiping grass from my butt. “I can’t believe you two haven’t met before.”
    “I don’t take women’s studies.” Jackson grabbed my hand and used it to pull himself up.
    “I don’t study criminology,” Ashley said.
    I laughed. “Come on. Let’s go inside. It’s almost time for class.” Jackson let go of my hand, and I secretly wished he’d hold it all the way inside the school.
    I hurried forward in case he’d read my thoughts, and Jackson and Ashley quickly caught up. The three of us headed toward the school as a group, with Jackson in the middle. It felt nice, like I had people.
    When we reached the front door, Jackson opened it and held it for Ashley and me. “You have classes this afternoon?” he asked.
    “Chemistry and math,” I told him.
    “I’ve got a free period,” he said. “How sweet is that?”
    “Me too,” Ashley told him. “I’d hang with you, but you don’t seem to like lesbians.” The corner of her mouth twitched up. She glanced at me, something unreadable but nice in her eyes.
    “You heard wrong. I happen to highly approve of lesbians.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.
    “It’s not a spectator sport, you know.” She smacked him on the arm.
    Jackson laughed his kooky baritone laugh. I poked his other arm, trying not to notice how solid it was. I had an urge to touch it again for reference. “Jerk!”
    He bowed his head with a smile. “I jest. I’m off. See you later, ladies.” He headed off into the loud hallway and away from us. I stopped to watch him go.
    “Hey,” Ashley said, pushing her shoulder against mine. “You’re staring at the pretty boy like he’s a big old scoop of vanilla ice cream.”
    I stopped staring and smacked Ashley back. “I am not. And since when do you think boys are pretty?”
    “Um. You were so. And I’m gay, Jaz. Not blind. He’s hot. And he seems cool. I don’t know why you’ve been keeping him to yourself. I’m glad you finally introduced me.”
    “I haven’t been keeping him to myself…we just usually don’t hang out at school. And you never come to Grinds.”
    “Yeah, because I’m in the pool. And since you and Lacey had your mysterious fight, you’re never at Marnie’s anymore