If I Tell

opened, and Jackson led us toward the part of the street where he’d parked his car.
    “The Women’s Life Care Center. Go to the triage area and tell one of the nurses your mom was brought in and who you are.”
    I nodded to the phone. “Is she going to be all right, Gram-mommy?” My old pet name for Grandma slipped out.
    “I think so.” Her voice shook slightly. “The baby’s early, but they have amazing doctors and facilities so…” She made a sound like a hiccup.
    “Don’t worry,” I said. “She’ll be fine.”
    “I know. I know. God. Your mother never does anything according to plan.”
    She hung up without saying good-bye.
    “The baby?” Jackson opened the passenger door for me and held it, waiting for me to get in.
    I put my guitar in the back and climbed in. “It’s early.” I really wanted the baby to be okay. I sat and lifted a nail to my mouth and started chomping it.
    Jackson didn’t offer false or empty words. “I’ll get you there fast.” He looked in the backseat. “You can leave your guitar with me instead of dragging it to the hospital. I’ll get it back to you.”
    I glanced back as he closed the door and went around to the driver side of the car. I wanted to take everything with me and never have to see Jackson again, but dragging the guitar around the hospital wouldn’t be appropriate under the circumstances. Jackson opened his door, jumped in, and revved the engine.
    “She’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.” He sounded a little scared himself though, as he put his foot on the gas and drove me toward the hospital. We barely spoke the whole way there. I quietly worried about my mom and her baby and looked out the window, trying not to think about the kiss. The horrible, wonderful kiss that might have ruined everything with Jackson. But I didn’t even have time to think about that now.
    Things were about to change again.

chapter fourteen
    I found the triage area in the maternity ward and spotted Grandma slouched over in an oversized chair in the waiting room. She looked older and more tired than usual.
    “A boy,” she said instead of hello. “You’ve got a baby brother.”
    A surge of happiness at the news took me by surprise. “Already?” I asked.
    Grandma smiled a little sadly but nodded. “He’s tiny, and they’re in with him, but he’s a fighter.”
    I swallowed a lump in my throat. I think I loved him already. I hadn’t expected that. Grandma wrapped her arms around me. It had been a long time since she’d hugged me like that, but I hung on.
    “Your mom’s doing pretty good too.” Grandma pushed me gently away and wiped underneath my eyes. “No tears. This is happy.”
    Someone cleared their throat behind us, and I turned and saw that a nurse had approached us.
    “You’re Jasmine?” she asked in a crisp voice. She didn’t sound particularly happy about my name. I bobbed my head in response.
    “Your mom is asking for you. Come.” Without another word, she turned and started to walk the other way.
    Grandma marched beside me. The nurse glanced over. “No. Just her. She wants to see her daughter. Alone.”
    Grandma stopped. “Oh.” Her expression stayed neutral. “Oh. Well, maybe I’ll go to the gift store then. See if I can pick up something for the baby. You’ll stay with your mom until I get back, Jaz?”
    I nodded, nervous. Why’d Mom want to talk to me all alone? The nurse tapped her toe up and down so I followed her white running shoes. From behind, I studied her dyed blond hairstyle, which was glued to her head with hair spray. Her body looked angry, bulging out of the burgundy nurse uniform. The corridor we went down smelled like a doctor’s office. Same muffled sounds and baby cries.
    We passed the nurses’ station and then stepped into a hallway lined with numbered rooms. Women in blue hospital gowns lay in beds in the rooms or sat in rocking chairs beside the beds. Many held tiny babies in their arms. All of them looked tired.
    The nurse stopped outside the room at the end of the hall. “She’s in there.” She gestured at the room with her thumb and scrutinized me. “Your dad is with the baby,” she said through pinched lips.
    “He’s not my dad.”
    I nervously peeked around the doorway, looking for my mom inside the room.
    The nurse tsked and clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I guess that’s not a surprise.”
    My insides reeled with unease. “What?”
    She crossed her arms, and her lips