If I Tell

like chocolate in sunshine. Sweet. Delicious.
    As I stared down at him, a surge of love and protectiveness pulsed through my blood.
    My baby brother. I loved him.
    “He’s gorgeous,” I whispered to Simon. “He’s so tiny.”
    “I know,” he answered.
    The two of us stood in front of the incubator, staring in amazement at the little creature. Before long, Grandma arrived to see her grandson. We all stood in awe, admiring him in his little incubator.
    “It’s late,” Grandma finally said. “They’ll be kicking us out.”
    We went back to Mom’s room to say good-bye, but she didn’t open her eyes while we were there. We left the hospital, and Simon headed home to sleep for a few hours and to pick up baby supplies and a change of clothes for Mom.
    I was worried about my mom, but Grandma told me she’d be fine. I had no choice but to believe her.

chapter fifteen
    Good morning,” Grandma said when I finally crawled out of bed. It was past noon.
    Grandma sat perched on her stool at the kitchen island with the Tadita Standard unfolded in front of her. “I made some muffins. Help yourself.” She pointed to a plate stacked with homemade baking on the kitchen table. I sniffed the air. Apple cinnamon.
    “Simon called earlier. The baby’s doing better than they expected. He shouldn’t be in the hospital too long. Maybe two weeks.”
    I waited to see if she’d say more, but obviously Simon hadn’t mentioned our fight at McDonald’s. And most likely wouldn’t.
    “That’s good, isn’t it?” I asked.
    “It’s good,” Grandma answered.
    We smiled at each other as I headed for the fridge and pulled the door open to root inside for milk.
    “Too bad the same can’t be said for your mom.” Grandma sighed.
    I grabbed the carton of milk and glanced back at Grandma. “What’d you mean?”
    “The baby needs her, but she’s acting all dramatic and helpless.”
    I didn’t comment. I’d learned to stay out of the struggles between Mom and Grandma. Grandma could be pretty hard on Mom sometimes. Grandma was happy about the baby, but that didn’t stop her from being critical. In my opinion, my mom deserved a bit of a break. She’d just given birth.
    I poured myself a glass of milk.
    “You going to work today?” Grandma asked.
    “Yup. At three,” I told her.
    “Oh. They’re sending your mom home today. Simon said she hasn’t slept a wink in the hospital.” She made a tsking sound.
    I ignored her, focusing on my milk, and went to the kitchen table and sat, reaching for a muffin.
    “Your mom hasn’t even visited the baby in the NICU.”
    I lowered my head and bit off a chunk of muffin.
    “He should be bonding with his mother. Poor baby.” Grandma shook her head and tsked again. She flipped a page of her paper. “At least she’s pumping milk for him. She said she’s going to breast-feed.”
    I chewed and shrugged. I had no desire to get involved in a debate about Mom’s parenting skills. Grandma waited for encouragement to go on, but I said nothing.
    “Would you like to go and visit before your shift at work?”
    I didn’t want to face the evil nurse or deal with Simon. “No. I have calculus homework I need to finish and I have to work tomorrow too.”
    Grandma nodded. “I need Grandpa’s car to go to the hospital,” she reminded me.
    “Maybe you could drop me off. I could study at Grinds before my shift.”
    I’d done more than my fair share of homework at Grinds.
    Grandma glanced at the clock. “Can you be ready to go in an hour?”
    “Yup. I’ll shower and change after I eat.”
    She pulled out a new section of the paper and laid it flat in front of herself.
    “Oh. I almost forgot. Some handsome boy dropped off your guitar this morning. Said he was a friend of yours from work.”
    My face heated up. “Oh.”
    “Why’d he have your guitar?”
    I dropped my eyes. “I left it with him last night. He drove me to the hospital.”
    “You were with a boy after karaoke last night?”
    I didn’t answer since it seemed rather obvious. Her eyes didn’t leave me.
    “Oh. Well, he seemed polite. He said to tell you hello.”
    She had no idea how polite. So polite he’d managed not to laugh in my face when I’d practically thrown myself at him. I felt like puking and put the muffin down.
    I was glad when Grandma turned her attention back to her paper.
    I left the kitchen and found my cell and called Ashley. She didn’t pick up, and I didn’t leave a message. I’d handle it on my