I'll Be Here

no,” he says on a breath.  “And if I didn’t make myself clear… NO.”
    I roll my eyes.  “Come on.  His nose hair is not that long.  That’s a nickname from freshman year.  I think we can move on.” 
    As if on cue, Isaac, who doesn’t realize that he has an audience, lifts his hand to his face and deftly picks his nose.  Nate and I burst into high-pitched laughter.   
    The thick slab of skin underneath Mrs. Carlson’s chin shakes as her head turns in our direction. 
    “Miss James, Mr. Perry, do I need to separate the two of you?”  She is looking at us over her glasses and her voice is mocking, condescending. 
    “No ma’am,” Nate says picking up his pen.
    “Hmmmphh…”  She settles back in her seat.
    I bend my head and pretend to be busy reading our workbook.  I angle myself so that Nate can hear me but Mrs. Carlson can’t see my lips moving.  “I don’t know what you expect.  I can’t just take my pick of guys and expect them to fall over themselves for me.”
    Nate smiles.  “But I think that we can do better than Nose Hair.”  He leans closer smelling faintly of laundry soap and coconut.  “For starters, no one in this room is going to work.  We need to find someone that threatens Dustin at the cellular level.  Someone tall, dark and handsome—all that stuff that you girls go goo-goo-ga-ga over.  And Dustin needs to believe that it’s real—not some set-up.”
    Okaaaay...
    There is exactly one human that threatens Dustin at the cellular level.
    And he told me that he would be in town this weekend.
     

 
     
    Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets.
    ~Neil Gaiman

 
    CHAPTER TWELVE
     
    August.  The summer before junior year.
    Dustin and I had been going out for about seven months.  Mom had finished the second round of chemo a few weeks before and we were waiting on the test results that would tell us how likely it was that the cancer would come back.  Jake was like a zombie during that time.  Getting Aaron to daycare, going to work, coming home and eating dinner.  I don’t think I saw him smile a normal smile for months.  So when I walked in the door and saw that goofy, lopsided grin on his face I knew .   
    “We’re having a party!”  He shouted in greeting.
    I think I remember that there was a group hug and maybe some tears involved.  I’m not sure of the details.  I just remember that it was the first time we had felt like a family in a long time. 
    A few hours later I was letting people in through the front door. 
    “Great news!” They all said as they filed in with their contribution to the potluck. 
    Cheers!
    Yay! 
    We knew she would pull through. 
    Julie’s always been a fighter.
    Alex handed me a ceramic platter with assorted cookies. 
    I tried not jump when his fingers brushed against mine. 
    I tried not to think of other times that we’d touched, of the last time when everything had gone so horribly, horribly wrong. 
    He smiled. 
    I tried not melt right there in the foyer. 
    He said hello. 
    I tried to make coherent sounds with my tangled up tongue. 
    He blinked. 
    I tried not to stare deeply into his blue eyes.
    “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you never called me back,” he said with a lilt in his voice that I didn’t understand. 
    I opened my mouth.  What could I say to him?  That I couldn’t handle that kind of rejection again?  That it had been much easier to avoid answering my phone and to make other plans the night a few weeks ago when I knew that he and Pete and Brooke were coming to dinner?  That I still had his jacket in my closet and I’d put it on twice just to sit around my room and feel the fabric that once touched his skin brush against mine?
    And then Dustin—my boyfriend— was behind me, shaking hands and acting completely normal, like the world hadn’t just flipped on its axis.
    “Who is that guy?”  Dustin asked me later as we stood by the open porch door.
    I followed his gaze.  “Oh, you met him earlier.  That’s Alex.”
    Dustin rolled his eyes.  “I got his name.  But, who is he?”
    Oh, no big deal.  He’s just the boy I’ve been crushing on for years.  I tried to kiss him just before you and I started dating but he pushed me away.  I was devastated . 
    No, I didn’t say that.  I attempted to sound blasé about the whole thing.  “His mom and my mom are good friends.”
    “I don’t like him.”
    “Why not?”
    “He keeps looking