I'll Be Here

take too many photos.  It’s not every day your only child graduates, is it?”
    I shake my head. 
    “You know,” Brooke says raising her eyebrows and taps her chin with her index finger.  “We need to get you guys together this summer.”
    The room tilts.  My breath hitches in my throat. 
    She’s watching me closely, scanning my face with her crystal blue eyes.  “You can talk about school.  He’ll be sure to have lots of pointers for you about college next year since you’ll be in the same place.  You’ll want to take advantage of him.”
    Sigh.
    I sure will.
     
    ***
    After Brooke leaves, I can’t stop thinking about Alex and the way that we’d left things last weekend.  I think about the way that his skin felt and the warmth of his breath and how he’d looked almost jealous when Lance had grabbed me.  I know it’s stupid to want Alex to be jealous—of a gay guy no less—but, I can’t help the tiny thrill it sends through me.  And I can’t help when my breathing becomes more ragged as I think about his eyes moving over me and what it would feel like to have his lips do the same.  Needless to say, sleep is not so easy to come by.
    I’ll be here.
    I’ll be here.
    Could I have been a little vaguer?  Did he think that I meant I’ll be here in town or more I specifically at the pier or just alive in general?  As in, I’ll be here on this great planet of ours and I hope you are too, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ll ever see each other again. 
    Am I supposed to call him?  Should I message him on Facebook or send him a text?  Texting seems more casual.  I want to appear casual, not conflicted or like I’m trying too hard.  Because I’m not.  No way.  I am not tryinganything with Alex.  Definitely not.
    Ack!
    I’m a spaz. 
    Okay, calm down Willow. 
    It’s easy to imagine that Alex was flirting with me.  That’s definitely what it felt like, but that can’t be what was happening, right? 
    Right. 
    Alex Faber wasn’t flirting with me, he was being friendly .  He’s a friendly guy.  He likes people.  People like him.  They talk to him.  He talks to them.  That’s what we were doing.  Talking.  Nothing more. 
    Alex is in college.   He’s got better things to do than flirt with high school girls.  Especially me.  We’ve been down that road before and I know that he doesn’t see me that way. 
He was not flirting with me.
I’m not even going to think about it anymore.
    Or the fact that he looked wonderful.
    Of course he did.  He is wonderful.  He’s this smart, attractive, tremendous person but that doesn’t have to mean anything to me.  It’s just nice for the human race.  You know, to have such a great person.  The bottom line is that the world is filled with lots of great people and I don’t go falling in love with them. 
    I am not in love with Alex Faber.
    I like him, but I don’t like like him. 
    Plus, I shouldn’t even be thinking about this!  I am in no shape to think about any guys right now.  My boyfriend just broke up with me and is now dating my ex-friend.  I’m a disaster.  My heart is in a fragile state.
    “You missed my party.” 
    The voice surprises me out of my thoughts.  “What?” 
    I look up.  It’s Dustin.  He’s standing in front of me with a look on his face.  I don’t know the look.  I’m not sure that I like the look.
    He’s wearing the shirt we picked out together at the mall.  The blue one with the thin green stripes that I love.  It compliments his tanned skin and hugs his chest just right.  Great.  If only I hadn’t noticed that.
    I’m sitting on a wooden bench on the outskirts of the quad.  My Spanish notes are sprawled on the seat beside me.  I was supposed to be studying for a quiz but I was letting myself get consumed with thoughts of boys.  Story of my life.
    Dustin shuffles my notes into a messy pile so that he can sit down and then he’s next to me and my calf is touching his bare leg.  His special Dustin smell of cologne and leather surrounds me and it’s nice and decidedly weird all at once.
    “You missed the party last night,” he repeats.  “I was really hoping that you’d show.”
    He was?   “Oh, I—uh—I had to work.” 
    Dustin looks at me.  He knows that I usually only work at Patty’s office on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I wonder if he’ll call me on my lie.  Instead, his lips purse ever so slightly and he says, “We won the track