Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

really well for short notice,” I said. “You know, Pharisees make the best witnesses.”
    “Let’s go to my brother’s house,” she whispered. “We can send word that I’m incurable from there.
    “Rat molester!”
    “It’s okay, Maggie, we’re out of range now.”
    “I know. I was talking to you. Why’d you take seventeen years to get me out of there?”
    “You’re beautiful in green, did I ever tell you that?”
    “I’ve got to think that that was unethical,” Joshua said.
    “Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed.”
    “How is it like a mustard seed?”
    “You don’t know, do you? Doesn’t seem at all like a mustard seed, does it? Now you see how we all feel when you liken things unto a mustard seed? Huh?”

    At Simon the Leper’s house Joshua went to the door first by himself so Maggie’s appearance didn’t scare the humus out of her brother and sister. Martha answered the door. “Shalom, Martha. I’m Joshua bar Joseph, of Nazareth. Remember me from the wedding in Cana? I’ve brought your sister Maggie.”
    “Let me see.” Martha tapped her fingernail on her chin while she searched her memory in the night sky. “Were you the one who changed the water into wine? Son of God, was it?”
    “There’s no need to be that way,” Joshua said.
    I popped my head around Josh’s shoulder. “I gave your sister a powder that sort of foamed her up all red and green. She’s a bit nasty-looking right now.”
    “I’m sure that becomes her,” said Martha, with an exasperated sigh. “Come in.” She led us inside. I stood by the door while Joshua sat on the floor by the table. Martha took Maggie to the back of the house to help her clean up. It was a large house by our country standards, but not nearly as big as Jakan’s. Still, Simon had done well for the son of a blacksmith. I didn’t see Simon anywhere.
    “Come sit at the table,” Joshua said.
    “Nope, I’m fine by the door here.”
    “What’s the matter?”
    “Do you know whose house this is?”
    “Of course, Maggie’s brother Simon’s.”
    I lowered my voice. “imon-Say the eper-Lay.”
    “Come sit down. I’ll watch over you.”
    “Nope. I’m fine here.”
    Just then Simon came in from the other room carrying a pitcher of wine and a tray of cups in his rag-wrapped hands. White linen covered his face except for his eyes, which were as clear and blue as Maggie’s.
    “Welcome, Joshua, Levi—it’s been a long time.”
    We’d known Simon as boys, spending as much time as we did hanging around Maggie’s father’s shop, but he had been older, learning his father’s craft then, and far too serious to be associating with boys. In my memory he was strong and tall, but now the leprosy had bent him over like an old woman.
    Simon set the cups down and poured for the three of us. I remained against the wall by the door. “Martha doesn’t take well to serving,” Simon said, by way of apologizing for doing the serving himself. “She tells me that you turned water into wine at the wedding in Cana.”
    “Simon,” Joshua said, “I can heal your affliction, if you’ll allow me.”
    “What affliction?” He lay down at the table across from Joshua. “Biff, come sit with us.” He patted a cushion next to him and I ducked in the event that fingers started flying. “I understand that Jakan used my sister as bait for a trap for you two.”
    “Not much of a trap,” Joshua said.
    “You expected that?” I asked.
    “I thought there would be more, the whole Pharisee council perhaps. I wanted to answer them directly, not have my words passed through a dozen spies and rumormongers. I also wanted to see if there would be any Sadducees there.”
    Just then I realized what Joshua had already figured out: the Sadducees, the priests, weren’t involved in Jakan’s little surprise inquisition. They had been born to their power, and were not as easily threatened as the working-class Pharisees. And the Sadducees were the more powerful half of the Sanhedrin, the ones who commanded the soldiers of the Temple guard. Without the priests, the Pharisees were vipers without fangs, for now anyway.
    “I hope we haven’t brought the judgment of the Pharisees down on your head, Simon,” Joshua said.
    Simon waved a hand in dismissal. “Not to worry. There’ll be no Pharisees coming here. Jakan is terrified of me, and if he really believes that Maggie is possessed, and if his friends believe it, well, I’d bet he’s