Lifesaving for Beginners

covering it.
    ‘I’m sorry, Faith. I won’t ask you any more questions, I swear.’ It’s horrible when girls cry. Boys aren’t supposed to cry but sometimes it’s hard not to. Even Ant and Adrian cried. So did Dad.
    I pull one of her hands away from her face. Actually, she’s not crying. She’s just tired, I think. But her hand is freezing. I put it between mine and rub, the way Mam used to do. She said Faith had cold hands because of the cigarettes. She said that Faith had poor circulation and that she shouldn’t smoke, because people who have poor circulation die if they smoke too many cigarettes.
    Faith smiles. Her teeth are white but Mam said they will turn as yellow as mustard if she doesn’t stop smoking.
    She’ll be dead and she’ll have yellow teeth and I’ll probably have to go to Scotland and live with Dad, and Celia will make me call her ‘Mum’, and they’ll be too busy with the brand-new baby to bring me to a lifesaving class and I’ll never see Damo or Carla again.
    Faith says, ‘Thanks.’
    I say, ‘It says “Smokers Die Younger” on your cigarette pack. Did you know that?’
    ‘I’m not going to die, Milo.’
    ‘Are we nearly there?’
    This time, she says, ‘Nearly.’
    The office is in a gigantic building that is like a skyscraper in a movie. There is a man in it and his name is Jonathon. He crouches in front of me and asks if I would like a colouring book and some crayons. I shake my head and Faith gives me her iPod. I listen to her band. They’re called ‘Four Men and a Woman’. The woman is Faith.
    Faith and Jonathon talk for ages. Jonathon has a big folder on his desk with lots of papers in it. He lifts the lid of his laptop. Types his username with two fingers. Presses Tab. Then types his password with two fingers. Presses Enter.
    Faith takes some pages out and she keeps shaking her head. Reading and shaking her head. I turn the volume down on the iPod in case she says anything about me.
    ‘It’s a lot to take in, Faith,’ Jonathon is saying. He is one of those people who stare into your eyes all the time when they’re talking to you.
    ‘It’s a big shock, Faith,’ Jonathon is saying. He is one of those people who say your name all the time.
    ‘It’s not uncommon, Faith,’ Jonathon is saying.
    ‘It happens quite a lot.’ Jonathon is one of those people who always have to be saying something. Staring into people’s eyes and saying their names and talking, talking, talking nonstop.
    Faith looks at the pages in the folder and shakes her head.
    ‘And you and your . . . adoptive mother . . .’ says Jonathon, staring at Faith’s eyes. ‘Were you . . . close?’
    Faith looks up and she looks mad, like when she was on the bus and I kept asking her if we were there yet. Adults don’t mind long journeys but I like to know when things are going to end.
    ‘Apparently not as close as I thought.’ Her face is turning pink. Mam used to say, ‘Watch out,’ when Faith’s face turned pink. Mam called it her ‘peevish’ face.
    Jonathon has flecks of dandruff on his jacket. It looks a bit like snow. He takes a huge hanky from his pocket and blows his nose into it. ‘Sorry,’ he says to Faith. He doesn’t say sorry to me. I bet he’d like to French-kiss Faith.
    I cough, so he knows I’m here and he won’t try any funny business. He looks at me then. ‘Would you like a glass of water, young man?’ I pretend not to hear him because of the iPod. He gets up from his chair and walks round to the side of the desk where Faith is. He sits on the edge.
    ‘OK, Faith, all right,’ he says, as if he’s agreeing with something Faith has said. ‘Yes, we can make some enquiries. Yes, we can send out a letter, Faith. Yes, we can probably find your birth mother.’ I can tell by her face that Faith hates the way Jonathon keeps on saying her name, over and over again. ‘But the question you need to ask yourself is why.’
    ‘Why?’ Faith says. I’m glad because that’s what I would have said.
    Jonathon sighs and smiles and presses his hands together like he’s saying his prayers.
    ‘Yes, Faith. Why? Why do you want to find her? What is it you are looking for? Have you asked yourself any of these questions, Faith?’
    Faith stands up and moves as far away from Jonathon as she can get without leaving the room.
    ‘I would have thought that was pretty obvious,’ she says.
    Jonathon is still smiling but now he is nodding too. ‘Humour me, Faith,’ he says.