Lifesaving for Beginners

when it was all to play for. I knew. And I did nothing about it.
    ‘OK then, I’ll . . . I’ll hang up now. I just . . . OK, see you. Goodbye.’
    A click. A beep. And then nothing.
    The worst thing in a situation like this is that there’s no one else to blame.

 
    The house is on the Howth Road in Raheny. Auntie May drives us into the city centre. She wanted to bring us all the way to the house but Faith said she preferred to go at her own pace and May nodded and said she understood. She dropped us at Busaras, which is the big bus station in the city. The bus to the airport goes from here. We put our bags in a locker and Faith asks me to mind the key because she doesn’t trust herself today, and for extra safety I put it into the pocket that’s halfway down my jeans, because it has a zip.
    Auntie May says, ‘You’ll ring. Won’t you?’
    Faith nods.
    May says, ‘Remember what we talked about last night, won’t you?’
    Faith nods again.
    May says, ‘I won’t say goodbye.’ She blows me a kiss and waves at Faith and then she checks her mirrors and drives away.
    Faith has the address written in her notebook. I remember it in my head. I’m pretty good at remembering things like that. Without writing them down, I mean. That’s why I usually get ten out of ten in my spelling tests. We take the bus and I don’t ask Faith if we can sit upstairs. She looks as white as Damo did that time he ate the custard powder. He was trying to make custard in his stomach. He swallowed four tablespoons of powder, then drank about a pint of milk and then jumped up and down so it would get all mixed up inside him. When he got sick, it really did look like custard.
    When we get to the house in Raheny, Faith walks right past it.
    I say, ‘Faith, it’s here. We’re here.’ The house is like a mansion. I reckon there’re about ten bedrooms. Probably a playroom too. George Pullman has a playroom. He’s always talking about it. He has an Xbox too.
    ‘Faith.’
    Faith keeps on going. She can walk really fast, on account of her legs being so long. I run after her.
    ‘Faith, wait. The house is back there. You’ve walked straight past it. It’s a mansion. Your real mam, I mean your birth mam, must be loaded.’
    Faith doesn’t stop until we reach the end of the road. From here, you can see the Irish Sea. The tide is out so far, it’s almost in England, I reckon. I put my hands on my knees. Try to get my breath back. Faith takes a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket. Lights one. After a while, she looks at me and says, ‘I’m sorry, Milo.’
    I try to remember if Faith has done something mean to me but I don’t think she has. ‘Why do you keep saying that?’ She doesn’t answer me. I look out at the sea.
    ‘Do you know how many miles between here and England?’
    Faith says, ‘No.’
    ‘Fifty-six nautical miles, which is seventy-five miles. And do you know how deep the Irish Sea is?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Three hundred metres, at its deepest point.’
    ‘Where do you get this stuff ?’
    ‘From Mrs O’Reilly. She knew everything there was to know about Ireland, remember?’
    Behind us is a low wall and Faith sits on it. I follow her.
    She says, ‘Tell me something else.’
    ‘Well . . .’ I close my eyes. I find it easier to remember stuff when I close my eyes. I could tell her some stuff about astronomy. Carla’s mad about astronomy. ‘Did you know that stars are suns?’
    ‘They don’t look like suns.’
    ‘They are. They’re just really, really far away.’
    ‘How far?’
    ‘They’re so far, you don’t measure in miles. You measure in years.’
    ‘Light years.’
    ‘Yeah.’
    ‘What about black holes?’
    ‘What about them?’
    ‘What do they do?’
    ‘Nothing, really. They just suck everything inside them, even the light.’
    ‘That sounds horrible.’
    I look at Faith. Her face looks sort of sad.
    I say, ‘Yes, but before suns burn out and turn into black holes, they’re called supernovas and that’s when they shine the very brightest that they’ve ever shone in their whole lives.’
    ‘So a supernova is a dying sun.’
    ‘Sort of. But it’s better than it ever was before. That’s why it’s super, see?’
    Faith nods but I don’t think she’s all that interested anymore. That’s the thing about adults. They’re only interested in the actual universe for a little while and then they go back to talking about their kids or their houses or someone they saw in the shop who was