Light in the Shadows

something to say.
                  I needed a serious reminder as to why I thought hanging out with Maria, Maggie, Rachel and Daniel would be a good idea.  Oh that’s right, because I wasn’t expecting Maria “sex fiend” Cruz to arrive on my doorstep like she was deep throating my cock in her head. 
                    “Water okay?” I asked, flipping on the light as we entered the kitchen. 
                    “Sounds perfect,” Maria answered, making herself at home at the kitchen table.  “So, things seem good for you since you’ve gotten out,” she said, taking the glass I handed her.
                    “You make it sound like I busted out of prison,” I commented, sitting down across from her at the table, though making sure to keep a healthy distance.  One that would make any sort of touching impossible.  I knew Maria to be touchy feely anyway, and I didn’t know what to expect with her acting like this. 
                    Maria laughed.  “Well, it kind of was like prison, don’t you think?” she said, taking a sip of water. 
                    “Not really.  There are days I wish I could go back, actually,” I found myself admitting.  Despite how weird Maria was being, there was something reassuring about talking to someone who had been in the trenches with me.  That maybe she, of all people, would understand how hard it is to be out of treatment.
                    Or maybe not.
                    “That’s just crazy, Clay!  I would never go back there.  Not in a million years!” she said emphatically and I looked at her in surprise.  I had no idea she had hated it there so badly. I had always gotten the impression that she felt the same way I did about treatment.  That it was a necessary evil.  Not one that we would have originally chosen for ourselves, but an essential one.
                    “Really?  You don’t find it hard being on the outside?  Trying to get through the day?” I asked.
                    Maria looked at me levelly.  “No, Clay.  I much prefer the person I am off the medication.”
                    Well, shit.  She wasn’t medicated anymore.  That explained a lot.  Maria had been on heavy duty anti-depressants.  I was more than a little shocked that she had stopped taking them.  But then didn’t I have moments myself where I thought about chucking mine into the toilet?  Maria reminded me of how easy it was to forget why you took them in the first place.
                    But one thing was for sure, Maria was officially a ticking time bomb and not one that I particularly wanted around Maggie and her friends.  But I was stuck now.  I just had to temper the situation as much as possible. 
                    “How long have you been off your meds, Maria?” I asked softly.  She tapped her hand on the table in agitation, clearly not liking my question.
                    “I don’t know, a while.  Why does it matter anyway?  You aren’t still taking that crap are you?” she scoffed.  Wow, okay.
                    “Yeah, I am.  I don’t particularly feel like having a visit with a straight jacket, alright,” I said testily.  Maria rolled her eyes.
      “Don’t be such a drama queen, Clay.  Look at me, I’m fine,” she held her arms out as if that proved her point. 
                    “You don’t seem fine, Maria.  In fact, you seem about the farthest from fine I’ve ever seen,” I told her firmly.  Her eyes widened and her mouth gaped in shock at my blunt assessment.  Before she could respond, I heard the doorbell ring and I groaned inwardly. 
                    Here we go, I thought.
                    “Hang on a sec.  That’s Maggie,” I told Maria, whose mouth tightened at the mention of my girlfriend. 
                    “Well, come on, let me meet this famous Maggie,” Maria said overly brightly, following me into the foyer.  I had hoped to have a moment alone with Maggie to prepare her for my good ol’ friend from treatment.  So much for that.  Time to witness the train wreck about to happen and just hope like hell I could fix it all later.
                    Maggie stood on my stoop looking the complete opposite of Maria in every way that