Light in the Shadows

had thrown myself into my plans for the future.  Maggie and I had decided instantly that we would look for an apartment together. Maggie had gotten a job with Fairfax County Schools as a middle school English teacher.  We were both as happy as we could be without being with each other.  But we were finally at a point where that could change.
                    I was in a good place, though I continued to have my setbacks.  Moments when I wasn’t sure I could put one foot in front of the other.  My fear and paranoia about being abandoned, about ruining everything, continued to plague me at times.  But I no longer allowed it to rule me either. 
                    My therapist in Florida told me I may always have them.  But every day I felt myself approaching a semblance of nirvana.  And that was what got me out of bed every single morning.  I got in contact with a reputable therapist outside of Washington D.C. and began my weekly appointments soon after arriving in Virginia.  I took my medication every day without fail.  These small elements of control were hugely important to me.  And even though every day was a test, a struggle, I was happy to fight because I had learned to be proud of the person I was.  Demons and all.
                    Maggie had found us an apartment in Arlington.  She was thirty minutes from work and I was a short distance from school.  But most importantly we were together. 
                    There was a knock at the door and I hobbled over to open it.  “What the hell is wrong with you?”  Daniel asked, walking past me with a large, flat object in his hands. 
                    “I think I broke my fucking toe.  That’s my fucking problem,” I growled, unleashing my inner sailor with the f-bombs flying out of my mouth.  Daniel rolled his eyes.
                    “Well, here you go.  I had to wade through Saturday traffic.  You owe me, man,” Daniel said, handing me the thing he had to wade through traffic for.
                    “I appreciate it.  Now help me hang it and stop your bitching,” I rooted through a few boxes until I found my hammer and some nails.  Daniel held the picture up in the proper spot above the couch.  When were finished, we stood back and took in my handy work.
                    Daniel shook his head.  “You really need to get the whole pussy thing in check.  Rachel will be driving me crazy to up my game, thanks to you.  One of these days I will seriously kick your ass,” Daniel grumbled.  I caught him rubbing the shiny band on his left ring finger and knew he was all talk.  He would do anything in the world for his wife and she was way past asking him to “up his game.”  They already had everything that they wanted. 
                    Daniel and Rachel lived only fifteen minutes from us in Alexandria.  Daniel was in medical school at Georgetown and Rachel worked with a catering company in Reston.  They had been married for two years now and Rachel was expecting their first child.
                    If there was such a thing as happily ever after, those two had found it.
                    And I was determined to have mine.
                    “Thanks, Daniel.  I’m sure we’ll call you later,” I promised. 
                    “Sure thing.  I’m happy to help.  We still on for raquetball tomorrow?” he asked before leaving. 
                    “I don’t know,” I answered and Daniel snorted.
                    “I guess it all depends on how far into the night the celebrations go, huh?” he pouted his lips in a sad attempt at a seductive face and I shoved him out the door. 
                    “Whatever, man.  Later.” I closed the door and turned around.  There was no way Maggie would miss the new picture.  I just hoped she had the response to it that I wanted. 
                    I went about cleaning the apartment as best I could.  I worked on a few more boxes, putting things away.  I located the rest of my tools and put the bed frame together.  Two hours and lots of cursing later, I finally had our mattress off the floor. 
                  The bed looked really inviting and I realized how tired I was.  But there was still too much to do before Maggie got home.