Light in the Shadows

              Jake opened his mouth to say something and then seemed to think better of it.  He wrenched himself out of Daniel’s grip and left the yard through the gate.  “Well, that was pleasant,” Daniel said dryly, pounding my back with his hand.  “Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving.”  I nodded in agreement and followed the guy who had somehow become a new friend into Maggie’s house.
                    Jake never reappeared.  I guess he had gotten the hint and taken a hike.  I spent most of the evening with Daniel and a few of his friends. I mostly just enjoyed seeing Maggie have fun.  I missed out on this side of her too many times. 
                    “Nice job on the ring, Clay,” Rachel enthused later on in the party.   Daniel groaned and shot me a hateful look.
                    “Thanks, man.  Do you realize you’re setting a standard that the rest of us poor shumucks somehow have to live up to?  Do the brotherhood a favor and stop being such a pussy!” Daniel punched me in the arm and I tried not to wince.  But hell if it didn’t hurt.
                    Rachel glared at her boyfriend.  “You need to shut up.  Just because Clay actually understands the word romance doesn’t mean he’s a pussy.”
                    Daniel laughed.  “Uh, yeah it does actually.”
                    “Give it up, Daniel, before you get kneed in the junk,” I warned, seeing the way Rachel’s face darkened dangerously.  Daniel struggled to maintain a straight face.
                    “I’m sorry, babe.  You’re right I need to channel some of Clay’s douchy, I mean awesome romantic qualities,” Daniel choked out and Rachel finally gave it up and giggled.  They were such a functional couple.  It was sort of awe inspiring.
                    The night started to wind down and Maggie’s guests began to leave.  Finally there was only Daniel, Rachel and I left.  Mr. and Mrs. Young had ordered some pizza, because most of the food from the party had been eaten up early on.  We started cleaning up.  Rachel and Daniel became comically competitive about it, making the whole process take twice as long as it should have.
                    “Thanks Mom and Dad!  And Rach, Danny, I just love you guys,” Maggie said, clutching a trash bag to her chest.  Her parents gave her a hug, followed by her friends.  I kissed the top of her head and she looked up at me with an expression that literally took my breath away.  I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of looking at her.
                    “And you already know what I think of you,” her eyebrows waggling suggestively and I chuckled.  We moved out into the yard to pick up more trash.  Rachel and Daniel had given up and were watching television and Maggie’s parents were in the kitchen drinking coffee. 
                    “So, I know we haven’t really talked about it.  But what do you think about Beach Week?  Daniel and Rachel rented this amazing house right on the water at Virginia Beach.  It would be really fun.  My parents would be fine with you going, particularly since I’m a full grown adult now,” Maggie grinned and my stomach knotted up. 
                    I hadn’t wanted to do this now, but I couldn’t keep putting her off. I had been evasive and vague about my plans for after graduation.  It wasn’t fair to her.
                    “I don’t think I can do that,” I told her, dropping the trashcan and sitting heavily on the patio chair.  Maggie’s face fell and I already hated myself for what I was about to do.
                    “Oh, okay, that’s fine.  But maybe we could go away somewhere later in the summer.  Just the two of us.  That would be really nice, don’t you think?”  Maggie was starting to ramble now and I knew she was picking up on my unease.
                    I took ahold of her hand and pulled her into the seat beside me.  “Maggie,” I started.
                    “We could go to Ocean City, or even New York.  Anywhere as long as we’re together!”  Maggie was on a roll, as though if she talked fast enough and long enough, I would forget about whatever it was I was trying to tell her.  The thing that she feared would break her heart.  And I