Light in the Shadows

I need you to understand that I’m not leaving you this time!  I’m going away for a little while to work on my head.  But that I hope you will be there every step of the way.  I’ll support you and you will support me.  We’ll learn together what a healthy and functional relationship looks like.  Because as I am right now, I know I can’t give that to you.  And I want to give that to you.  Because I want my life to begin and end with us together.”
                    My heart was beating so hard in my chest, the blood rushing through my ears so that I could barely hear Maggie’s whispered response.
                    I leaned in closer, gripping her hands tightly in my own.  “I’ll wait for you.  I’ll always wait for you,” she swore.  Her tears had stopped and she seemed to have settled down.  I cautiously reached out and ran my fingers through her hair, stopping to rest my hand on the back of her neck.  I rested my forehead against hers.
                    “Are you sure?” I asked her.  I didn’t want her to feel pressured into it.  This had to be her choice.  If she chose to walk away, I’d let her; even though I knew I’d never move on from her.  I would do it for her.
                    “I’m sure, Clay.  I want to be with you. And even if it takes fifty years, I’ll be there at the end of it all,” she said firmly and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. 
                    “I love you, Maggie May Young.  Always and forever.”  And then my mouth touched hers and I felt my future begin.
     
    ***
     
    -Maggie-
     
                    So I graduated high school.  And Clay left for Florida.  I went to Beach Week with my best friends.  Ruby sold her house and moved to Key West.  Her shop was bought by a couple who turned it into a holistic foods store.  I refused to go inside.
                    I spent the summer working and saving money.  I spent time with my parents.  I went to the movies with Rachel.  I helped Daniel clean out his garage. 
                    And I spoke with Clay three times a week.  He had kept his promise to not shut me out.  He shared every bit of his treatment with me.  He told me about his group therapy and his sessions with his counselors.  I told him about my college preparations and getting my school schedule. 
                    We stayed a part of each other’s lives in every way that we could, even with a thousand miles separating us. 
                    And I firmly believed that this was a new chapter for us.  Hell, it was brand new freaking book.  The Maggie and Clay story was far from over.  And we would always be looking for the light…together.
     

E PILOGUE
     
    S IX YEARS LATER
    - C LAY-
     
     
     
                    “I’ll have her back there by six-thirty!  Stop freaking out and let us do some shopping.  And don’t call again!” Rachel barked into the phone before hanging up.  I rubbed the raised skin on the underside of my wrist, the scab over my newly inked tattoo was driving me crazy.  I couldn’t help but smile at the tiny symbol that looked like an off kilter upside down U, emblazoned on my skin.  It was identical in size and location to the one adorning Maggie’s arm.  I loved what the rune stood for.  I remembered when Maggie explained the meaning to me over dinner all those years ago. 
                    Healing and endurance.  And most of all courage.  I finally felt, after all this time, that I was mastering these qualities.  So I had taken the plunge and marked my body with a permanent reminder of the love I shared with the woman who had saved me in every way possible.
                     I was pacing around the living room, rubbing my tattoo when I stubbed my toe on a box that sat strategically in the middle of the floor.
                    “God damn it all to fucking hell!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.  The place was a disaster.  Maggie and I had just moved into our new apartment last weekend and we were in the middle of moving chaos.  Boxes were everywhere, being systematically unpacked in stages.
                    So far we had a semi-functional kitchen.  Our bed was a mattress on the floor.  But none of that mattered because we were here.  Together.