Light in the Shadows

would.
                    So here I was, the next morning, staring at the reflection of a girl who had changed so much in the last three months.  I wasn’t the same person who had naively believed that she could help her sick boyfriend.  That she was the only medicine he needed.  What an idiot that girl had been.
                    I wasn’t sure I was ready for this, but I didn’t have a choice.  I was scared that I’d see Clay and all of my resolve would take a flying leap.  I didn’t think I could handle seeing his grief and not want to take care of him.  It was in my nature to want to comfort him.  The broken inside of him called out to the nurturer in me.  Something I had never been until he had stumbled into my life.
                    There was a knock at my door and my dad poked his head inside my room.  “You’re dressed already?”  He looked at me as though I had grown another head.  Given that I didn’t normally get out of bed on a Saturday before noon, I understood his disbelief. 
                    I shrugged, putting on some silver stud earrings.  My dad came in and sat down on the edge of my bed.  “You ready for today?” he asked with concern. 
                    “Stop worrying about me, Dad.  It makes you twitchy,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.  My dad shook his head and scratched at his beard.
                    “I’m not twitchy; it’s just that tick of mine,” he joked.  I smirked and smoothed my dress.  “Mom has breakfast cooking.  Come downstairs and eat something,” he urged, giving me a placating smile. 
                    “Sure, I’ll be down in a bit.  Save some bacon for me, will ya,” I called out as my dad left.
                    “No promises,” he said and I had to laugh. 
                    My phone began ringing from my dresser and I picked it up, seeing Jake’s name flash across the screen.  I sighed and thought about ignoring it but instead put it to my ear.
                    “Hey, Jake,” I said. 
                  “Good morning, Maggie.  I’m just calling to figure out what time I should come and get you today.  I figured maybe we could grab some lunch or something and then get with Rachel and Daniel later.”  He sounded so eager and I tried not to groan.  We had made plans just a few days ago, but with everything that had happened since then, I had to say it had completely slipped my mind.
                    I wanted to cancel; today would leave me emotionally exhausted.  I didn’t know what would happen when I saw Clay again and I didn’t want to go into it knowing I’d have to spend my evening with someone else.
                    “Jake, about tonight,” I started but I Jake’s humorless laugh cut me off. 
                    “You’re not rain checking on me are you?” He was clearly trying to sound blasé, but I could hear the hurt.  Well, shit. 
                    “It’s just today I have a funeral to go to and I’m just not sure what that’s going to mean for the rest of the day,” I explained, omitting some key details from the excuse.  All I knew was that I did not want to go on this date tonight.  Things had considerably changed since Wednesday.  And I wasn’t sure where I was headed at this point.
                    “A funeral?  What happened, Maggie?” Jake asked with concern.  He was such a nice guy and I felt like the world’s worst person for leading him on the way that I had.  What in the hell had I been thinking?  When did Maggie Young become the kind of girl to mess with people’s emotions like this?
                    “It’s Lisa McCabe,” I answered him, stealing myself for the explanation that would make Jake feel even worse.
                    “Lisa McCabe?  Who’s that?” he asked.
                    “She was Clay’s aunt Ruby’s partner. I um… I just really need to go,” I said hurriedly.  There was absolute silence on the other end. 
                  Finally after a few minutes, Jake cleared his throat.  “Oh, I see.  Then I’m guessing Clay’s in town then, huh?” His voice had turned cold.  I knew Jake wasn’t happy with it, but then I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone, least of